On Being an Only Child

by Ernie McCray

I was an only child
and what has been said
about folks like me
is that we are likely to be spoiled
and lonely
and selfish
and go about life without social skills
and all I can say is
I didn’t get the memo
about any of this
because I, when I was a kid,
was too spoiled
as a billionaire
would be to being broke and on the skids.

This only child

has been working since

the age of 5,

shining shoes, running errands,

doing lawns, collecting bottles to collect deposits,

walking dogs, a couple of times slopping hogs.

Got a nice retainer, one time, for keeping my mouth shut

and I was the head janitor in my house,

the chore-person,

so, when the dishes weren’t washed and the floor wasn’t swept

and mopped or the clothes weren’t hung,

per my mother’s “hands on her hips” request,

being that our humble abode was sibling-free

all her fingers were pointed at me.

The “one and only” so to speak.

Now, it’s really not as bad as it sounds

but there was absolutely no spoiling going down.

And as to loneliness,

well, I was alone a lot,

but never lonely

as I had friends to play with

across the street, down the street,

and around the block,

and, in my house,

I had more imaginary friends

than should have been allowed.

I mean Joe Louis and Sugar Ray Robinson

taught me how to box, for crying out loud.

Jane Russell was my squeeze.

Kings bowed to me.

I freed the slaves.

Had to save Superman on many a day

because kryptonite was just a rock to me.

And, today, if I even come close to being lonely,

I just do what I did back then:

Daydream.

Indulge in fantasies,

using my mind

as my personal hallucinogen

as I step away, for a moment,

from dealing with reality,

like a tripper on magic mushrooms

or LSD.

And regarding my likely lack of social skills,

I’m thinking, with

the smiles

and high fives

and multi-faceted handshakes

and tight hugs and pecks on the cheek

and “right on” kinds of expressions

I get when I’m out and about,

that I might be doing something right

as far as getting along

in society,

much like the way it was

when I was an only child.

I did, though,

wish that I had a brother or sister

to help with all

the house duties

that were “spoiling” me,

an indication

that I might be selfish to some degree –

but no one could claim

with any authority

that such is so

due to me

being an only child.

Fortunately,

those in the field of psychology

agree with me.