Sex in San Diego

Sex In San Diego: ‘Revenge Porn’ Outlawed in California as Governor Signs Bill

October 10, 2013 by Source

The anti-revenge porn bill makes it illegal to post naked pics of someone else without their consent.

By Jodie Gummow / Alternet

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Exes beware! Before you think about posting naked pics of your former lover following a bitter breakup, you better think twice…

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Sex in San Diego: Asexuality 101 — The invisible orientation

September 26, 2013 by Source
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By ApostleOfCarlin / Daily Kos

I’ll come out of my closet and state up front that this is a topic close to my heart, because I am asexual. No, I don’t reproduce through mitosis. I simply don’t experience sexual attraction to the same sex or to the opposite sex.

I have not spotted much in the way of discussion … on asexuality, though I’m glad to see there’s a lot of support here for the LGBT* community in general. I thought I’d be helpful and post a little introduction to asexuality, also known as the Fourth Orientation.

Unless you live in a cave, I’ll assume you’re familiar with heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality, characterized as attraction to the opposite sex, the same sex, and both sexes respectively.

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Sex in San Diego: Unveiling the ‘Madonna-Whore’ Complex

September 19, 2013 by Source

How one of the most common, yet misunderstood, male sexual dysfunctions can rip relationships apart.

Hetaera-300x271By Jody Gummow / Alternet

“Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love,” Sigmund Freud wrote back in 1925. The founding father of psychoanalysis coined the Madonna-whore complex – a condition whereby men view women as either saintly, virgin Madonnas or sexual “whores.”

In essence, the effect of Madonna-whore on a relationship is an inability of the man to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving partnership. In his psyche he categorizes women into two groups: women he can admire and women he finds sexually attractive; the former he loves, the latter he devalues.

Dr. Patrick Suraci, Ph.D., and author of “Male Sexual Armor: Erotic Fantasies and Sexual Realities of the Cop on the Beat and the Man in the Street” explained the origins …

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Sex in San Diego: How Body Image Issues Can Ruin Your Sex Life

September 12, 2013 by Source
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From Huffington Post

Does bad body image lead to bad sex? Quite possibly.

“Nothing kills the mood quite like being negative about the way you look,” HuffPost Live host Caitlyn Becker said during a Sept. 11 segment on how body image affects women’s sex lives.

Sarah Jenks, founder of life coaching and weight loss organization Live More Weigh Less, explained that many women’s body concerns get in the way of their pleasure in the bedroom. “A lot of us believe that if we lose 20 pounds, that’s when we’ll finally feel sexy,” she said. But of course, feeling sexy has much more to do with your state of mind than your weight.

Emotional eating expert Isabel Foxen Duke recommended that women whose self-esteem affects their sex lives ask themselves: “Is this about an underlying self-doubt that has nothing to do with my weight?”

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Sex in San Diego: “I Was Asking My Wife for a Vow of Celibacy …”

September 5, 2013 by Source

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Author’s lack of a sex drive almost cost him his marriage, but he couldn’t let his wife go without doing everything he could to win her back.

By Pete Beisner / The Good Men Project

My wife and I are in a sexual time-out. That is my polite way of saying that right now I would rather do the dishes than make love to her. This isn’t about my wife, as much as she sometimes wants to make it about her so that she can fix it. The most beautiful woman in the world could show up right now ready to fulfill my wildest sexual fantasy, and I would say, “Eh, there is some leftover pasta in the fridge. I am going to heat some up. Want some?”

Why am I telling you this? I believe that our ideas about marriage are distorted by how little we hear about the true inner workings of functioning marriages.

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Sex in San Diego: Marriage Is For Liars

August 29, 2013 by Source

By Dr. Kelly Flanagan / UnTangled

liar-narsbizWe stand together on the marriage altar, and we begin the most important relationship of our lives with a terrible lie. We say, “For better or worse.” But we don’t really mean it.

If we were to be honest with ourselves, if we were to begin the marriage authentically, most of us would say, “I have a bunch of needs which have never been satisfied in my relationships.Today, in front of our friends and family, I’m publicly gambling that you will be the person to finally meet those needs. If you do, I will be happy, and I will try to make you happy. If you don’t, well, God help us…”

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Sex in San Diego: A Brief History of Sex Dolls

August 22, 2013 by Annie Lane
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It’s difficult to imagine anything other than a crusty, inflatable, creepy-looking … thing when picturing a sex doll in the mind’s eye. A likeness to the figure in Edvard Munch’s The Scream, though slightly more unsettling if that’s even possible.

But sex dolls actually have quite an interesting history, reaching back as far as 8 A.D. with the myth that Pygmalion obsessed over a woman he sculpted from ivory so much so that Aphrodite eventually made her real. In the 1940s, Adolf Hitler and Heinrich Himmler devised the “Borghild Project,” which involved the production and shipment of sex dolls to German soldiers in an effort to lure them away from diseased French prostitutes.

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Sex in San Diego: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex – the Differences Explained With Food

August 15, 2013 by Source
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By Emilie Astolat

I don’t mind the fact that my hubby watches porn, partly, I guess, because it’s inversely related to how often we have sex. Just because I’m not in the mood doesn’t mean that he has to remain sexually abstinent. Plus, I watch it, too, when the mood strikes.

What does bother me, however, is the often unrealistic portrayal of sex that pornography perpetuates for men and women. Being a woman, I can only speak for my gender and, while porn can be fun, it definitely has the potential to take its toll on the self esteem. I mean, there are just some so-called standards I just can’t live up to.

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Sex in San Diego: New Pornographers Claim Their Work Is Ethical, Feminist and ‘Sex-Positive,’ – But Will It Sell?

August 8, 2013 by Source

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By David Rosen / Alternet

The 8th annual Feminist Porn Awards, held in Toronto, April 4 to 6, were organized by Good for Her, a Toronto-based, women-orientated, sex paraphernalia store. Some 110 programs were submitted for such categories as Golden Beaver (Canadian content) and Smutty Schoolteacher (sex-ed).

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Sex in San Diego: What I Won’t Do For My Husband

June 20, 2013 by Source

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By Nadira Hira / The Good Men Project

Nadira Hira’s manifesto on marriage.

I won’t change my name. I’ve spent the last three decades making the one I have mean something. And I’d like to keep it up, thanks. Which is, I hope, a major part of why he’ll love me always.

I won’t accept a ring. I will gush over my friends’ rings, of course. I will keep my views on the fraught history and general scourginess of diamonds and engagement rings to myself, mostly. But till he too is sporting a symbol of ownership on his strong and manly hand, I won’t be wearing a bloody thing on my finger.

I won’t stop celebrating men — him, and all the others. This will be a service to our children, and given my taste — Brad, Idris, Sandma — a testament to his quality.

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Sex in San Diego: Marriage Is For Losers

May 17, 2013 by Source

marriage ringsBy Dr. Kelly Flanagan / UnTangled

You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.

Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy.

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Sex in San Diego: Pentagon Study Finds 26,000 Military Sexual Assaults Last Year, Over 70 Sex Crimes Per Day

May 9, 2013 by Source
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Editor: The following is a transcript of Amy Goodman’s program on Democracy Now from yesterday, May 8, that aired highlights from Tuesday’s Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on military sexual assaults . We also include the video – see below. Democracy Now!

NERMEEN SHAIKH: A shocking new report by the Pentagon has found that 70 sexual assaults may be taking place within the U.S. military every day. The report estimated there were 26,000 sex crimes committed in 2012, a jump of 37 percent since 2010. Most of the incidents were never reported.

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Sex in San Diego: Getting Older, Getting Better

May 3, 2013 by Source
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By Charlie Glickman, PhD / Charlie Glickman

Today is the 20th anniversary of the date that I met my partner. In the last two decades, we’ve both changed a lot. We’re both much more secure and solid in who we are. We’ve grown and challenged each other to overcome many of the habits that caused friction in our lives and in our connections with other people. We’ve learned many, many ways to support our relationship. And yes, our bodies have changed, too.

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Sex In San Diego: The War on Pubic Hair Must End

September 19, 2012 by Source
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em> By Dr. Emily Gibson KevinMD.com / Originally published August 16, 2012

I must have missed the declaration of war on pubic hair.

It must have happened sometime in the last decade because the amount of time, energy, money and emotion both genders spend on abolishing every hair from their genitals is astronomical. The genital hair removal industry, including medical professionals who advertise their specialty services to those seeking the “clean and bare” look, is exponentially growing.

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Sex in San Diego: Adult Toys for Girls and Boys

July 20, 2012 by Source

By A feleségül

Here’s the scenario:

Horny person; No lover; Playboy or Playgirl magazines; Sex talk on line; Porn available on paid television; Libido going wild.

What’s a nice person to do? (Or…what’s a “not- so-nice” person to do?) What is acceptable in today’s society? How does one relieve the tensions building up in the body? What “aids” are available for the average person? How would you feel if you went into an adult store and saw your neighbor there? Would it matter if your neighbor was a woman or a man? Would you be embarrassed?

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Sex in San Diego: Are you a prude?

June 22, 2012 by Source
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by Mrs. Grundy

The word “prude” comes from the French. Traditionally, it meant something along the lines of “honorable woman.” Today, dear Wikipedia explains that “prude” refers to a person of any gender who is “concerned with decorum and propriety, significantly in excess of normal prevailing community standards.”

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Sex In San Diego: Women Aren’t Meeting Breastfeeding Goals

June 14, 2012 by Source

by Denise Mann / WebMD Health News

Many moms who want to breastfeed exclusively for three months or longer fall short of meeting this goal, a new study shows.

More than 85% of new moms said they intended to breastfeed for three months or longer, but just 32.4% met their mark. The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that mothers breastfeed exclusively for about the first six months of their infant’s life because of health benefits for mom and baby.

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Sex in San Diego: Women in Movies

June 8, 2012 by Annie Lane
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Double Standard: Women on screen are always required to look their sultry, sexy best. Not so for their male counterparts.

From San Diego Free Press / June 7, 2012

Over the weekend I caught the movie X-men on TV and I have to say that women are really starting to get on my nerves. For those who are unfamiliar with the story (is that possible?), X-men is an action adventure about love, revenge, super human capabilities, violence and acceptance. And lots and lots of sex.

The characters don’t actually have sex in the film. In fact, there’s only one scene where you think it might happen, but no, it’s just a steamy kiss that’s been a long time coming.

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Sex in San Diego: Men, marriage and money

May 31, 2012 by Dixon Guizot
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It’s no secret that marriage is in decline across America.

For example, a recent PBS report noted that only half of U.S. adults are married, an all-time low. And of today’s Americans, only 72% have been married at some point, down from 85% in the 1960s.

But a lesser-known fact is that our country’s marriage declines have not been distributed evenly across the population. Poor people, in particular, are much less likely to get hitched than they were just a few decades ago.

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Sex in San Diego: What’s Seduction Got to Do With It?

May 24, 2012 by Judi Curry
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Seduction: What is it? The dictionary says it’s the “act of seducing.”
Seductress: A woman who seduces.
Seduce: To persuade or tempt.
Seductive: Tending to seduce or lead astray.

My online dating has opened up new horizons for me – one that I was aware of but never thought would pertain to me. But, in answering some of the required online questionnaires, I am looking at myself differently. And, consequently, am looking at others differently too.

For example, I completed a survey that was titled, “Seduction Style.” I surprised to find out that the it would be available for all to see, and that the results are broken down into three parts: How to Approach Me, How to Date Me, and How to Sexually Seduce Me.

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Sex in San Diego: Celebrating “date night”

May 17, 2012 by Source
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by Emilie Astolat

People who think they’ve never taken their loved-one for granted, no matter how many years have passed, should think again. I’m sorry, but there are no ifs, ands or buts about it. And if you’re one of those people, I suggest you ask said loved-one for their opinion. You just might be surprised.

As I think about my own relationship, I realize I have a lot to be grateful about. We share a happy home, a child, security, a sense of humor, family (like it lump it), tribulations, joys, decisions, love and the list goes on and on. There isn’t anyone on this planet I’d rather come home to and I know he feels the same.

But as the years tick by, sometimes I think we both get into the habit of the everyday routine: kid, school, work, dinner, sleep, repeat. It can go like that for weeks before one of us says, “Hey, how ‘bout a date night?”

Whoever invented the idea of a date night for long-term couples should be given a Nobel Peace Prize. I really mean that. It’s a simple concept, but it does so much to rejuvenate the romance in a relationship.

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Sex in San Diego: Hysteria, orgasms, censorship and the history of the vibrator

May 10, 2012 by Dixon Guizot
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A couple years ago, I took a psychology 101 course at a San Diego community college. Our first lesson focused on the history of mental illness and its treatment.

The professor opened by describing a now-extinct illness called “hysteria,” which struck ladies only and featured symptoms from faintness, nervousness, and insomnia to irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and even “a tendency to cause trouble.”

During the Victorian Era, the professor explained, hysteria was enough of a problem to inspire heaps of medical research. And because the illness largely seemed to be stemming from the patient’s mind, hysteria became one of the first “mental” maladies to be studied rigorously by the modern medical community.

So what does any of this have to do with sex?

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Sex in San Diego: How much sex is enough sex?

May 3, 2012 by Source
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I like to think that my partner and I have a healthy amount of sex. In fact, that’s exactly what I think. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s nowhere near the amount that my partner would like to be having.

But we certainly don’t have sex every day.

There are the usual excuses for that: I’m busy. I’m tired. When I’m not sleeping, I’m being a stepmother, working and going to school. By the time I get home at night, I’m exhausted and feel generally grungy. I want to eat dinner and decompress with some TV before passing out.

So what’s the magical number of times in a week to make love? Is there one? What if I don’t hit it? Does it all start to add up to a time when he feels we’re no longer compatible?

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Sex in San Diego: Menopause and the Juiciness of a Full Life

April 26, 2012 by Patty Jones
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Pagan religions believe there are three stages to a woman’s life; the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone. The Maiden is mostly concerned with her own life and thinking about what the future holds for her. The Mother centers on caring for the family, children, partners and parents. The Crone (once a dreaded word that conjured images of the crazy cat lady who lived on the edge of society) has “been there, done that” and can refocus on herself and then, if she’s a mind to, the world at large.

A Very Personal Journey

You know, I never really had an issue with getting older. That was until, one day, I starting feeling older. Every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or in a photograph… And I’d think, who in the hell is that old woman? She looks like my mother!

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Sex in San Diego: Pondering cleavage etiquette

April 19, 2012 by Source
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by Dirk Ebers

When the weather in San Diego warms up — as it will this weekend — many residents opt for a wardrobe change. From gents in tank tops to ladies in short shorts, the flesh displays ramp up as the temperature rises.

In a word, it’s all about skin. And as the cladding gets more scanty, some curious ethical dilemmas arise:

Is it cool to flaunt one’s body parts? When others flaunt, is it okay to look?

As a man, there’s one flesh display that I find especially confusing: cleavage, meaning female breasts, or more specifically, the space between them.

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Sex In San Diego: Internet Dating and That First Date

April 12, 2012 by Source
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By Veteran of First Dates

After my San Diego divorce in the early part of this century, and then after a few false-starts in dating other women, I finally set out to date with a more self-conscious awareness.

Being in my mid-fifties, it was not easy to meet people – not being a bar kind of guy -, and after exhausting friends of friends, friends of family, former girlfriends, going on one blind date, participating in one of those “quick dating” rounds at a restaurant, I came to realize that there must be better and more modern ways to meet women – and men – in this society.

And there is. It’s called internet dating.

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Sex in San Diego: To porn or not to porn

April 5, 2012 by Source
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I’m a man in my 30s who enjoys porn. In contrast, most women I know seem to have no interest in porn.

Accordingly, I’m intrigued by how porn tends to be compelling to men but unappealing to women. Maybe it’s because, for men, so much of sex is about the physical details. Whereas for women, so much of sex is not about the physical details.

But porn does excite women — and it doesn’t matter what kind of porn. Studies show that straight men are turned on by straight porn, gay people by gay porn, and straight women by both straight porn and gay porn…

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Sex in San Diego: The Absurdity of Having a Male Gynecologist

March 23, 2012 by Source
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by Abby Normal

I feel myself up quite regularly. It’s quite natural, really as most medical resources say I’m supposed to do a monthly breast self-examination starting after the age of 20. Granted, there was few-year period where I neglected my cancer detecting duties, but I can officially tell you I’m back on track.

I also regularly visit my gynecologist, which is not nearly as much fun as feeling myself up. In fact, the sight of that little three-by-five reminder card can downright put a damper on the day.

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Sex in San Diego: Sharing a Silhouetted Sex Life

March 16, 2012 by Ernie McCray
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April, in 2011, was the last time I had company sexually, after nearly a year of fun in the hay – with a beautiful woman I met a while after my wife died.

This has been some kind of experience because I have always very much enjoyed “doin’ the do.” And so did, Nancy, my sexy soulmate of 34 years, through and through. She was 62 when she left and I was 71.

We had such a rich sex life. Both of us were fit and young in spirit, still eager, up for it (pun somewhat intended) both on planned date nights, a couple of times a week, or spontaneously. Whichever came first.

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Sex in San Diego: Dudes, don’t delay that vasectomy

March 9, 2012 by Staff
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by Dixon Guizot

When I called in to schedule a vasectomy a few months ago, my health insurance company said I’d have to first attend a one-hour class at a Point Loma medical office.

I showed up to the class along with 9 other guys, and the woman running the class kicked things off by asking each guy in the room how many kids he had.

I was the last guy she called on. I was the only one who said this: “I don’t have any kids.”

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