Category: Sex in San Diego

by Dirk Ebers

When the weather in San Diego warms up — as it will this weekend — many residents opt for a wardrobe change. From gents in tank tops to ladies in short shorts, the flesh displays ramp up as the temperature rises.

In a word, it’s all about skin. And as the cladding gets more scanty, some curious ethical dilemmas arise:

Is it cool to flaunt one’s body parts? When others flaunt, is it okay to look?

As a man, there’s one flesh display that I find especially confusing: cleavage, meaning female breasts, or more specifically, the space between them.

By Veteran of First Dates

After my San Diego divorce in the early part of this century, and then after a few false-starts in dating other women, I finally set out to date with a more self-conscious awareness.

Being in my mid-fifties, it was not easy to meet people – not being a bar kind of guy -, and after exhausting friends of friends, friends of family, former girlfriends, going on one blind date, participating in one of those “quick dating” rounds at a restaurant, I came to realize that there must be better and more modern ways to meet women – and men – in this society.

And there is. It’s called internet dating.

I’m a man in my 30s who enjoys porn. In contrast, most women I know seem to have no interest in porn.

Accordingly, I’m intrigued by how porn tends to be compelling to men but unappealing to women. Maybe it’s because, for men, so much of sex is about the physical details. Whereas for women, so much of sex is not about the physical details.

But porn does excite women — and it doesn’t matter what kind of porn. Studies show that straight men are turned on by straight porn, gay people by gay porn, and straight women by both straight porn and gay porn…

by Abby Normal

I feel myself up quite regularly. It’s quite natural, really as most medical resources say I’m supposed to do a monthly breast self-examination starting after the age of 20. Granted, there was few-year period where I neglected my cancer detecting duties, but I can officially tell you I’m back on track.

I also regularly visit my gynecologist, which is not nearly as much fun as feeling myself up. In fact, the sight of that little three-by-five reminder card can downright put a damper on the day.

April, in 2011, was the last time I had company sexually, after nearly a year of fun in the hay – with a beautiful woman I met a while after my wife died.

This has been some kind of experience because I have always very much enjoyed “doin’ the do.” And so did, Nancy, my sexy soulmate of 34 years, through and through. She was 62 when she left and I was 71.

We had such a rich sex life. Both of us were fit and young in spirit, still eager, up for it (pun somewhat intended) both on planned date nights, a couple of times a week, or spontaneously. Whichever came first.

by Dixon Guizot

When I called in to schedule a vasectomy a few months ago, my health insurance company said I’d have to first attend a one-hour class at a Point Loma medical office.

I showed up to the class along with 9 other guys, and the woman running the class kicked things off by asking each guy in the room how many kids he had.

I was the last guy she called on. I was the only one who said this: “I don’t have any kids.”

by A feleségül

What is the true definition of love?

Webster’s dictionary says that it is “a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons.”

Then what is the definition of lust?

Again, quoting Webster, “lust is a desire to gratify the senses; bodily appetite; a sexual desire.”

Using these two definitions, it is difficult, as a youth, to determine whether one is “in love” or “in lust.” And, unfortunately, one may never be able to ascertain which is which.

A case in point: As an unhappy teenager, I was seeking acceptance any way I could get it. If a male told me he “loved me” I was ready to thank him any way I could, and usually meant going to bed with him.

by Emilie Astolat

Breasts. It wasn’t too long ago that I told my 10-year-old stepdaughter she had to wear a different shirt because I could see details of her breasts beneath the one she had on.

I’m not sure when she started maturing sexually, but it’s definitely happening. Technically, according to all the books, they’re only buds. But the idea of her actually having them is so foreign they might as well be balloons.

For her birthday recently, I got her a book called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls by Valorie Lee Schaefer. As the name implies, it describes and illustrates various bodily developments and what to do about each one.

by Anais Child

By the time I get around to Christmas presents for My Beloved, our bank account is always in the negative and I have run out of creative ideas. Over the many years we have been together, Christmas isn’t a big deal when it comes to exchanging gifts. But this particular year, I wanted to do something … special. I wanted to do something … different.

The most different thing I could do was to enter the downtown Hustler. I had walked past it daily since it opened, but had never been inside…

by Dirk Ebers

In the 1982 rhythm-and-blues classic Atomic Dog, George Clinton croons a question for the ages: “Why must I feel like that — why must I chase the cat?”

Clinton is talking about the longing for sex, of course. And you can probably relate to his lyrics, whether you’re a man or a woman, straight or gay, Ocean Beach or Point Loma. After all, sex seems to be on the human mind a lot. But why?

In Atomic Dog, George Clinton has a simple answer: “Nothin’ but the dog in me.” And researchers in an intriguing branch of psychology believe Clinton is exactly right.

Evolutionary psychology is the study of how the human mind’s processes might be products of evolution. In other words, the field asks if there might be survival benefits to weird little kinks of human nature, such as the tendency for men in cultures around the world to — all else being equal — prefer big boobs.

By Emilie Astolat

Talking about sex isn’t as easy as it seems, even in a laid-back town like San Diego. I mean, I’m a grown, almost-married woman who engages in the act quite frequently, and yet I still feel awkward as I sit in front of this computer screen typing, despite the cloak of anonymity.

That says something about the American culture, doesn’t it? It’s no secret that people have sex. Right now in San Diego, for example, there are countless people doing the deed. But, shhh! Sex should be kept behind closed doors at all times!

It really shouldn’t though.