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By Jodie Gummow / Alternet
Exes beware! Before you think about posting naked pics of your former lover following a bitter breakup, you better think twice…
By ApostleOfCarlin / Daily Kos
I’ll come out of my closet and state up front that this is a topic close to my heart, because I am asexual. No, I don’t reproduce through mitosis. I simply don’t experience sexual attraction to the same sex or to the opposite sex.
I have not spotted much in the way of discussion … on asexuality, though I’m glad to see there’s a lot of support here for the LGBT* community in general. I thought I’d be helpful and post a little introduction to asexuality, also known as the Fourth Orientation.
Unless you live in a cave, I’ll assume you’re familiar with heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality, characterized as attraction to the opposite sex, the same sex, and both sexes respectively.
By Jody Gummow / Alternet
“Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love,” Sigmund Freud wrote back in 1925. The founding father of psychoanalysis coined the Madonna-whore complex – a condition whereby men view women as either saintly, virgin Madonnas or sexual “whores.”
In essence, the effect of Madonna-whore on a relationship is an inability of the man to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving partnership. In his psyche he categorizes women into two groups: women he can admire and women he finds sexually attractive; the former he loves, the latter he devalues.
Dr. Patrick Suraci, Ph.D., and author of “Male Sexual Armor: Erotic Fantasies and Sexual Realities of the Cop on the Beat and the Man in the Street” explained the origins …
From Huffington Post
Does bad body image lead to bad sex? Quite possibly.
“Nothing kills the mood quite like being negative about the way you look,” HuffPost Live host Caitlyn Becker said during a Sept. 11 segment on how body image affects women’s sex lives.
Sarah Jenks, founder of life coaching and weight loss organization Live More Weigh Less, explained that many women’s body concerns get in the way of their pleasure in the bedroom. “A lot of us believe that if we lose 20 pounds, that’s when we’ll finally feel sexy,” she said. But of course, feeling sexy has much more to do with your state of mind than your weight.
Emotional eating expert Isabel Foxen Duke recommended that women whose self-esteem affects their sex lives ask themselves: “Is this about an underlying self-doubt that has nothing to do with my weight?”
Author’s lack of a sex drive almost cost him his marriage, but he couldn’t let his wife go without doing everything he could to win her back.
By Pete Beisner / The Good Men Project
My wife and I are in a sexual time-out. That is my polite way of saying that right now I would rather do the dishes than make love to her. This isn’t about my wife, as much as she sometimes wants to make it about her so that she can fix it. The most beautiful woman in the world could show up right now ready to fulfill my wildest sexual fantasy, and I would say, “Eh, there is some leftover pasta in the fridge. I am going to heat some up. Want some?”
Why am I telling you this? I believe that our ideas about marriage are distorted by how little we hear about the true inner workings of functioning marriages.
By Dr. Kelly Flanagan / UnTangled
We stand together on the marriage altar, and we begin the most important relationship of our lives with a terrible lie. We say, “For better or worse.” But we don’t really mean it.
If we were to be honest with ourselves, if we were to begin the marriage authentically, most of us would say, “I have a bunch of needs which have never been satisfied in my relationships.Today, in front of our friends and family, I’m publicly gambling that you will be the person to finally meet those needs. If you do, I will be happy, and I will try to make you happy. If you don’t, well, God help us…”
It’s difficult to imagine anything other than a crusty, inflatable, creepy-looking … thing when picturing a sex doll in the mind’s eye. A likeness to the figure in Edvard Munch’s The Scream, though slightly more unsettling if that’s even possible.
But sex dolls actually have quite an interesting history, reaching back as far as 8 A.D. with the myth that Pygmalion obsessed over a woman he sculpted from ivory so much so that Aphrodite eventually made her real. In the 1940s, Adolf Hitler and Heinrich Himmler devised the “Borghild Project,” which involved the production and shipment of sex dolls to German soldiers in an effort to lure them away from diseased French prostitutes.
By Emilie Astolat
I don’t mind the fact that my hubby watches porn, partly, I guess, because it’s inversely related to how often we have sex. Just because I’m not in the mood doesn’t mean that he has to remain sexually abstinent. Plus, I watch it, too, when the mood strikes.
What does bother me, however, is the often unrealistic portrayal of sex that pornography perpetuates for men and women. Being a woman, I can only speak for my gender and, while porn can be fun, it definitely has the potential to take its toll on the self esteem. I mean, there are just some so-called standards I just can’t live up to.
By David Rosen / Alternet
The 8th annual Feminist Porn Awards, held in Toronto, April 4 to 6, were organized by Good for Her, a Toronto-based, women-orientated, sex paraphernalia store. Some 110 programs were submitted for such categories as Golden Beaver (Canadian content) and Smutty Schoolteacher (sex-ed).
By Nadira Hira / The Good Men Project
I won’t change my name. I’ve spent the last three decades making the one I have mean something. And I’d like to keep it up, thanks. Which is, I hope, a major part of why he’ll love me always.
I won’t accept a ring. I will gush over my friends’ rings, of course. I will keep my views on the fraught history and general scourginess of diamonds and engagement rings to myself, mostly. But till he too is sporting a symbol of ownership on his strong and manly hand, I won’t be wearing a bloody thing on my finger.
I won’t stop celebrating men — him, and all the others. This will be a service to our children, and given my taste — Brad, Idris, Sandma — a testament to his quality.
By Dr. Kelly Flanagan / UnTangled
You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.
Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy.
Editor: The following is a transcript of Amy Goodman’s program on Democracy Now from yesterday, May 8, that aired highlights from Tuesday’s Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on military sexual assaults . We also include the video – see below. Democracy Now!
NERMEEN SHAIKH: A shocking new report by the Pentagon has found that 70 sexual assaults may be taking place within the U.S. military every day. The report estimated there were 26,000 sex crimes committed in 2012, a jump of 37 percent since 2010. Most of the incidents were never reported.
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