A Scare of Scares

by on April 27, 2021 · 10 comments

in From the Soul, Health

By Ernest McCray

Carlos, my youngest
and now only son,
has Covid-19.
But he’s got the battle won
it seems.

Yet, when the news reached me,
as quick as
a flash
of lightening
streaking across
the sky,
ghostly like images of
Debbie and Guy,
two children of mine
who have lived and died,
floated before my eyes
and I became weak.

Wanted to curl up
like a baby and sleep,
to just get away
from thinking
of the probability
that I could lose another child
of mine
in my lifetime
as I don’t think
I could survive
that level of emotional pain
ever again
and my mind
has wandered to the essence
of what I would miss
in Carlos’s absence:
his many accomplishments,
fueled by a Nike-like
“Just do it” sense
of confidence
that has dazzled me
all his life,
like, on the day
he first rode a bike
with training wheels.
from our house
to the corner
and back
like it was no big deal,
demanding that
the extra wheels
be removed,
rejecting any notions
regarding that such
might not be a good move,
and no sooner
than I had gotten the wheels off
and put down my tools
he flew
back to the corner
and came back
with his feet balanced on the handlebars
waving his hands in the air
like he just didn’t care,
and I knew
I had a boy who was
exceedingly rare
and I can’t imagine him
anywhere but on this
beautiful earth
doing what he’s been
doing so well,
giving of himself,
affecting social change,
empowering marginalized communities.

But as each day passes
I feel more at ease,
since all indications
point to him
overcoming a devastating disease
on a path to being alright,
something I’ve been hoping for
with all my might.

Oh, but it’s been quite a fright,
a scare of scares
that’s lasted
a few days
and nights.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Suzi April 27, 2021 at 4:16 pm

So glad he’s improving! Quite a big scare! Thinking of you Ernie!
Big hugs!


Linda Newsum April 27, 2021 at 8:35 pm

Sending Carlos lots of love and wishes for a full recovery. Sending you love as well Ernie.


Shirley Sprinkles April 27, 2021 at 5:51 pm

Sending you love and light as you go through this with your son. I know exactly how you feel: COVID-19 passed through homes of 3 of my 4 children. It was very scary! Thankfully, they’re back to normal lives, with slight lingering symptoms. I am grateful that Carlos is improving. Let’s believe together that this experience will soon be in the past, and that he will resume his awesome life!


Candice Carter April 27, 2021 at 7:45 pm

I cannot imagine how deep the pain has been from losing 2 children already. The scare of losing Carlos has only deepened that hurt. I am so glad you were able to get rest. Hold him up in your expectations for his full recovery, and yours!

Sending love and light for the peaceful healing process’


J Cannon April 27, 2021 at 8:41 pm

A terrifying experience–hoping Carlos is 100% ASAP. He’s young and strong and now
he’s got antibodies!


Carole McFarland April 28, 2021 at 9:31 am

I’m so happy for Carlos that he has survived this scourge, and also for you, Ernie, that the burden of worry has been lifted. I remember Carlos very well, even talked to him a few times after meeting him at your house. I know he gives of himself to society and am grateful that he will continue to do so. We need more people like him in our world.
Love to you and your family,


Virginia Franco April 29, 2021 at 9:09 am

With you Ernie; stay strong and positive; Carlos looks healthy and, may I say, wise in his immune stage. What a Fella; he has all the qualities for growing strong and wonderful!!


Thomas Gayton April 29, 2021 at 1:16 pm

i pray for Carlos to recover soon and bless both of you.


BARBARA LEWIS April 29, 2021 at 5:40 pm

Oh! Carlos….he has once again shown what he’s always been ….as you said “exceedingly rare”.
and pushing through. McCray genes! Blessings to both Carlos and you.


Lauren April 30, 2021 at 2:33 pm


I am so glad to hear Carlos is recovering and you’re feeling better now. He is a remarkable person!



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