The Halloween Special – The Final Season of the Trump Show

by on October 12, 2020 · 0 comments

in Election, Ocean Beach

By Colleen O’Connor

Afraid of ghosts and goblins?  Can’t take the kids trick or treating?  But, you can host a party?

Choose one of Trump’s and friends’ costumes for this Halloween. They are going fast.  And more fun than apples or carrots.

Here are some suggestions still in stock.

How about a President, just out of the hospital, recovering from COIVD-19 infection, loaded with an almost combustible mix of drugs; (steroids and antibodies) hosting yet another Rose Garden event while orating from the White House balcony (ala’ Evita Peron)?

This after more than three dozen close White House aides, advisors, generals, and supporters have tested positive.

A completely authentic costume requires a mask that can be torn away quickly and dramatically.  And tripod mounted video cameras to catch the salutes and waves.

Or perhaps, the “super spreader in chief” outfit that hosts multiple White House lawn receptions and MAGA rallies to spread fear about the Clinton emails.  (Darth Vader’s frightening black helmet and cloak come to mind).

Still prefer another costume for the party?  How about the “quack doctor” costume, complete with starched white coats, White House emblems, and non-disclosure documents in hand?

There are several M.D. versions available; one is the two-dimensional cutout of the President, himself, draped with a stethoscope; insisting he is “virus-free,” and “aced” his cognitive test; “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.” Repeat.

Trumpet party-goers could also take form as journalists (need a pen and paper); talk show radio announcers (need a microphone and crib sheet); television ad producers (a long tie and pancake makeup required); reality TV stars (preferably with a woman draped on arm); or sometimes even just behave as an “acting” President.

In store, but going fast, is the “commander-in-chief” costume (ala’ Peter Sellers in “Dr. Strangelove: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.”) Outfitted with a recorded voice inside the sleeve blaring; “If you f— around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before.”

Should you wish the China-threat version or the North Korea costume (“Mine is Bigger Than Yours;”) you may be out of luck. Kim Jong Un won that dare with a “massively big” ICBM, mounted on an 11-axel launch vehicle, paraded in Pyongyang’s Kim II Sung Square for the world to witness.

“Dear Leader” parades remain the envy of all dictators: “thousands of goose-stepping troops, tanks, armored vehicles, rocket launchers and a broad range of ballistic missiles (as well as synchronized, near robotic masses of dancers, marchers and flag waving, clapping fans that easily dwarfed any MAGA rally).

Hard to duplicate in time for Halloween.

But, Kim, too has threatened the entire planet most bigly.  “if any force harms the safety of our nation, we will fully mobilize the strongest offensive might in a preemptive manner to punish them,” he declared. Could be mounted on loudspeakers inside the party room.

China’s leader, Xi, also has multiple costumes and outfits and threats, but thus far, only the COVID-19 image is sweeping the planet uncontested in ferocity. You know that microscopic image of a puffball with spikes. Comes in various sizes and colors and also available in protective adult “bubble suit” form.

The most frightening outfits are the red robes and white hats made popular with Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel, The Handmaid’s Tale.  It details the lives of subjugated women in a patriarchal society after the overthrow of the U.S. government. Currently in stock and on sale at Target for $35.99 (with free shipping).  Seriously.

And, also on display outside the U.S. Supreme Court in protest during the Senate confirmation hearings of an authentic American “handmaid,” Judge Amy Barrett.

So, selling fast.

Dislike all of the above options.  Grab any headline and design your own Halloween garb.

You don’t want to miss this election year’s  Halloween TV Special.

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