Above: Low cost solution to regional housing crunch unveiled by city/county staffers at recent open-bar news conference downtown
By Bell Donic, Staff Writer
South Western Region: The Joint South Western Region City-County Low-No income Housing
Relief Task Force (JSWRCCLNIHRTF) offered guided tours of a pilot program at a location on the west side during their gala event announcing the installations near the green and picturesque foot of Washington Street.
Advocates stressed the ease of installation, and the ease of creating very small group areas, the durability of the units, low cost to the taxpayers, the residents’ improved self-image attained as a result of not sleeping in the bushes somewhere, but, instead, in a sturdy, solid, free space.
Rickki Minesfeld, JSWRCCLNIHRTF press secretary, gave some background onthe unique, simple, outside-the-box concept JSWRCCLNIHRTF had created when he said,
“We got such a great deal; my cousin, Rico, is in construction security; a really proper guy. Anyhow, one night as the alcohol ran low, he asked offhandedly whether I had any ideas regarding how he might be able unload a large quantity of concrete conduits. He said he could let them go at a great price.
At the time, I just said I didn’t think so, but I’d let him know. Meaning, that was the end of that.
Then, months later at the Cranky Queen after work one evening, this idea came up to use sections of concrete conduit as sleeping spaces for low or no income South Western citizens. I thought of Rico. Gave him a call. Closed a deal before the next double arrived; and off we went! The results are at your feet! Take a look. Here. Have a brochure.”
Detractors point out that the “units” don’t include adequate parking according to the South Western Region Madness Plan and that questions remained as to who would be responsible for public services such as new street corner citizens might need. Other critics noted the absence of any shopping facilities, personal services, or food outlets in the immediate vicinity.
Mr.Minesfeld did note that designers had completely overlooked sanitation during the planning phase of the project, but he assured those assembled for the event that JSWRCCLNIHRTF would be working on that issue asap.
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Satire by Mike Williams.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks Mike, had to laugh outloud when I read one of your arrow deals, “Residents are encouraged to take an interest in their surroundings and living space,” with the arrow pointing to a board leaning over the opening of one of your pipes, er, living spaces.
But I think pointing out that the pigeons are security staff is ridongulous
Yea, some times it’s nice to see some pointed satire. Thanks Mike or Bell Donic.
O, yea, I forgot, where was this actually?