By Steve Rodriguez
Up until last week, even critics of President Donald Trump found it hard to accept that his war rhetoric could get much more extreme, or his threats against both enemies and traditional allies more outrageous. However, recent news about the Pentagon’s interaction with the Vatican, along with Trump comments made in the past few days that are highly critical of Pope Leo XIV, have proven such concepts wrong.
Fortunately for the Vatican, I contend the Pope, a critic of Trump’s actions and words related to the Iranian War, does possess a unique advantage he can employ to escape our president’s wrath.
According to reports in the Free Press, the Vatican’s ambassador to the U.S. was summoned in January to the Pentagon, where he was advised the Vatican needs to play ball with the Trump administration’s efforts in the area of national security. Pentagon officials supposedly asserted the U.S. has the military power to “do whatever it wants” and that “the Church had better take its side.” while making references to “the period in the 1300’s when the French Crown leveraged its military power to dominate the Avignon Papacy.” The threat sounds right out of The Sopranos, something akin to a thug character threatening …“Nice Sistine Chapel you got there, padre. Be a real shame if it should be damaged in a bombing.”
Though hard to believe Trump might attempt any type of military action against the Vatican, we do indeed know a couple things for sure.
First, the Pope has labeled Trump’s threats to destroy Iran’s civilization as “unacceptable,” further explaining that God “does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war.” Trump is not happy about these comments, and has since countered by expressing more disdain for the Pope, admonishing him for being “weak on crime” and “terrible for foreign policy.”
Second, we know of two major factors that come into play when Trump determines an ally is deserving of being converted from friend to possible military objective – the country in question offers choice real estate land grab opportunities (i.e., Greenland), and/or the country’s leaders have publicly criticized or somehow displeased Trump (i.e., Canada). The Vatican checks both of these boxes. With the Pope having already made a point of criticizing Trump’s Iran “excursion,” no one doubts the Trump Organization would love to own a Trump Vatican City Hotel/Resort right there in the middle of Rome. Talk about la dolce vita!
As both a Catholic and a concerned American, I see it as my duty to offer the Pope a possible way out of this nasty predicament. When dealing with Trump, there is always one sure fire way of getting on his good side, and that is by presenting him with an award. The award can be as famous as the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize medal given to him by Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado, as phony as the inaugural Peace Prize awarded to him in December of last year by international soccer organization FIFA, or as sad as the Purple Heart that was presented to him in 2024 by a Vietnam vet supporter.
This presents an opportunity for the Pope as he has the power to award many kinds of honors, to include the Supreme Order of Christ, the Order of Pius IX, and the Jerusalem Pilgrim’s Cross – all impressive sounding distinctions. Yet, there is one Pope related award tailor-made for our president, and that is the Order of the Golden Spur. Yes, that really is the name of an honor the Pope can bestow. According to Wikipedia, this award –an order of knighthood – is “one of the oldest papal chivalric institutions, historically conferred upon individuals who render distinguished service to the Catholic faith through military feats, writing, or other notable actions.” Its origins trace back to the 14th century.
Does Trump fulfill the criteria for this award? Who cares? All I know is he really likes awards, and there is something special about the name of this particular one that seems so very appropriate, especially in light of Trump’s experience (a certain medical deferment one) with another conflict – the Vietnam War. The supposed presence of spurs proved golden for him back then.
I’m not sure if the Vatican possesses any bridges or powerplants. And who knows about the fighting ability of the Vatican’s Swiss Guards? But if I were a member of the Pope’s awards committee, I would be seriously considering an appropriate time and place for awarding the Order of the Golden Spur, hopefully before Trump starts using words like “St. Peter’s Square” and “obliteration” in the same sentence.
