A Christmas Poem for San Diego

By Anonymous 

‘Twas the night before Christmas in San Diego town,
And all through the streets, potholes still could be found.
The meters were standing with QR codes near,
In hopes that a plate number soon would appear.

The trash cans were placed by the curb with great care,
Though fees now were charged just for leaving them there.
The residents nestled all snug in their beds,
While nightmares of parking fees danced in their heads.

And me in my flip-flops, my phone in my hand,
Was scrolling through news I could just barely stand.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I hurried to go,
To see what was happening down there below.
The moon on the asphalt, all cracked and uneven,
Revealed new bike lanes painted bright green.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Todd Gloria smiling for cameras so near.
By bike lanes freshly painted that bright shade of green,
Posing for photos in a well-staged scene.

More rapid than city fees the frustrations they came,
And I sighed and I muttered and called them by name:
“Now parking! Now water! Now meters and fees!
On bike lanes! On trash bills! On plans no one sees!”

To alleys and backyards, to spaces once free,
Now ADUs rise as far as you see!
No parking included, but surely you’ll find
That everything works if you just change your mind!

A shiny new arena was promised once more,
With retail, homes, and oh so much more.
So many big dreams on a parcel so small,
It seemed like they planned it to just have it all.

The reports all assured us, with graphs neatly drawn,
That traffic would worsen, but just carry right on.
“Unmitigated,” they said with a grin,
But don’t worry at all, just believe and move in.

At last, I looked up as the night settled down,
At palm trees and porches all over the town.
For all of our grumbling, our posts and our fights,
This city still sparkles on December nights.

So I smiled despite all that we tried to fight,
And I said as I turned and put out the light:
“Merry Christmas San Diego, and to all a good night.”