October 23 – a Bittersweet Day for the Widder Curry

by on October 23, 2020 · 9 comments

in Ocean Beach, The Widder Curry

By Judi Curry

Before I get into this more fully, I would like to thank all of you that gave me advice, gave me books, cited professionals as to whether or not I should attend my grandson’s wedding today.  I truly appreciate all of the comments that were made – both negative and positive!

The day is now upon me and the decision to attend – or not attend – has been agonizing.  I have 18 grandchildren (including a few “greats” in that number.)  I am very close to all of them and talk to them frequently.  Landon, the groom, is a twin and I attended his brother’s wedding just two years ago.  Landon’s “best friend” – Tiffany, whom he will marry today,  has been like a member of our family for at least 5 years, when the two of them began dating.  I attended her graduation when she received her Master’s Degree, and I count her in as one of the aforementioned 18.

I have done extensive reading and research into COVID 19.  I have had relatives and friends that have survived the virus.  I have read about small parties that escalated into dire consequences because one unsuspecting person had the virus and gave it to others.  And of course I have read a great deal about large functions that enable others to spread COVID to many.

Landon and Tiffany’s wedding has been scaled down from 150 at a venue to 50 in their back yard.  All of the guests will have their temperature taken; must wear masks, etc.  All of the things that should prevent the spread of this insidious disease will be in place.  So … what did I decide?

I am not going to attend the wedding in person. One of my daughters will live stream it on Facebook and I will watch it in my living room with a glass of champagne, probably with tears, and be safe.

As Landon’s brother said to me, “ . . .  Grandma, I would so much rather you stay away and be safe and have my children grow up knowing you than to have you contract the disease at the wedding and have them hear about the grandmother that they would have loved.”

So…. as I think over the possible outcome of this joyous occasion, I think that I have made the right decision, as emotionally difficult as it was.

And the day is not without this other sadness.

October 23rd is also my late husband’s birthday.  He’s been gone over 11 years, and I miss him every single day.  Bob’s birthday, coupled with Landon and Tiffany’s wedding, makes me sadder than usual on what should be a happy day.  But I know that in the long run October 23rd will always have a bit of sadness associated with it, while at the same time I will be able to celebrate the uniting of two lovely, happy people.

Again, to those of you that offered me advice, I thank you immensely. You all were a big part of my decision.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Judi Curry October 23, 2020 at 1:29 pm

Again, thank you for all of your advice.


sealintheSelkirks October 25, 2020 at 1:40 pm

Judi, I am SO glad you made this choice, and am also incredibly impressed with the concern and intelligence of Landon’s brother telling you not to attend. I take my hat off to you all, and it’s a cold weather hat today with 7″ of snow by yesterday morning and a brisk 4’F under a brilliantly blue sky out my front door today Sunday 10/25.

I now know two dead and four other people that are counted as ‘recovered’ but are extremely sick from the other effects that have manifested with this virus. One 40 yr old is undergoing testing due to his heart muscles suddenly starting to deteriorate and another who’s husband told me she is back in the hospital with blood clots from hell and the sudden onset of kidney disease three months after she ‘got better.’ I taught both of them and their three kids to snowboard a few years ago…

Many more years to you and yours because of this painful decision you had to make! But that’s just the point that Trump doesn’t get; more years to be with those you love. 84,000 new cases in one day…yeah, I for one think you made the right decision.



Judi Curry October 25, 2020 at 1:47 pm

Thank you for the response. I am now hoping that everyone that attended the wedding is safe. Even thought the tables were spaced 6 feet apart, the chairs were side by side. It will be an anxious time but I agree with you – I made the right decision.

I wish I were with you – I loved the snow when we lived in Maine. Even though my time was short there – 4 years – I miss the seasons. As a native Californian I had never experienced what the four seasons have to offer.

Again, thank you for your response. Stay safe, Judi
(Oh yes, by the way – saw that trump said today that after November 4th COVID will go away!) Still…..be safe.


sealintheSelkirks October 25, 2020 at 3:02 pm

I literally just got an email from friends in Chewelah (15 miles north) whose husband just tested positive. Both her and the 15 yr old daughter get tested tomorrow. I taught both of them to snowboard in the last few years, and both are actually in, at the end, the book I just published. I really REALLY hope they all end up with mild cases not the death march.

This popped up today:

“We’re Not Going to Control the Pandemic,” Trump Chief of Staff Says on Live TV as Covid Cases Surge

“‘It is what it is’ wasn’t a randomly tossed off phrase: it’s the official policy.”


Trump must have meant that after he steals this election, again, there will be no more reporting on it allowed? Big sigh. Madness by the insane is not a surprise, is it?

And Judy, as a native OBcean that spent 33 years there and in MB; in two months I will have lived the first half of my life on the beach and this second half in four different mountains ranges (including living on Palomar Mt with snow). Today has been absolutely beautiful with the light blue sky and brilliant sunshine and white pillows hanging from the conifers all around. And it warmed up to a toasty 34’F which is longsleeve t weather! Body has gotten used to colder climates…as long as the core stays warms with decent warm boots to tromp through it, snow is not a problem but a gift!

You be safe, too, lady!



Judi Curry October 25, 2020 at 3:18 pm

And you forgot the “quietness” of the day. To stand outside, with the beautiful white snowflakes falling all around, listening to the quiet was something that can never be duplicated in a beach town on the west coast! Nirvana!


retired botanist October 25, 2020 at 4:34 pm

Widder, I ditto Seal, and think you made the right decision. If we can climb on the right side of this pandemic and this superspreader, toxic, administration, we all might just see and enjoy another generation. Everything we do, we do for those that live and thrive after us, whether they are our’s or other’s! You’ll be glad you made this choice, and thx from everyone, whether they know it or not :-)


Judi curry October 25, 2020 at 9:17 pm

Thank you for your support on this. It was a difficult decision but I think it was the right one also.


Gilbert E Field October 26, 2020 at 12:56 pm

You made the right call by not attending the wedding.
My wife’s family has lost two great women, ages 62 and 95, to the virus already.
Glad you are safe and staying put.
Happy Birthday to Bob on October 23rd. Wish Stan had met him.


Judi Curry October 26, 2020 at 4:53 pm

Thank you Gil. I also think I made the right decision.
I thought that Stan had met Bob. They were about the same age. Thanks for the birthday wishes.


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