By Alexandra Petri / WaPo / June 10, 2020
Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. @OANN I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?
— President Trump on Twitter
For your birthday, she knits you an unwanted scarf. To be used as a balaclava?
She belongs to a decentralized group with no leadership structure that claims to be discussing a “book,” but no one ever reads the book and all they seem to do is drink wine.
Is always talking on the phone with an “aunt” you have never actually met in person. Aunt TIFA????
Always walking into rooms and claiming not to know why he walked into the room. Likely.
He “trips” over and breaks your child’s Lego police station when walking through the living room in the dark.
Total and bewildering lack of nostalgia for good old days.
Gathers with loose-knit, disorderly group of figures you have never met to play “mah-jongg,” governed by mysterious “rule cards” issued annually from a nebulous central authority.
Suddenly, for no reason, will appear or pretend to be asleep.
Insists on producing container of nuts whenever there is company. Why? Code of some kind?
Carries peppermints (chemical irritant?) in purse at all times.
Is taking Centrum Silver. But for what reason? Surely to build up strength for the coming confrontation.
Keeps forwarding you what appear on the surface to be emails of jokes someone has typed out from a Reader’s Digest; claims to think you would “enjoy”; must be some sort of recruitment or propaganda or hidden message.
Hired a clown for your child’s birthday — part of the Juggalo command structure?
Big tin of Christmas popcorn mysteriously replenishes itself. WHO IS HELPING?!
Y
ou gave her a Precious Moments figurine of a law enforcement officer, but she hasn’t displayed it.
Remembers things from the past in incredible, exhausting detail, but recent ones only sporadically? Cover of some kind.
She claims not to know how to use her phone, yet always appears upside-down on FaceTime, which should be impossible without hacking capabilities.
If he is to be believed, he spends hours playing bridge.
He is walking non-threateningly at a public protest.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I’ll add a few to your list:
Professes to intensely dislike both the Savior of Democracy Joe Biden and Trump the Destroyer of Democracy…and shake their heads looking sad when you ask them about ‘our’ democracy.
Doesn’t want to be associated with either of the corporate party choices and prefers to call themselves ‘Independents.’
Has history books on their shelves like People’s History of the United States, The Untold History of the United States, and The Indigenous People’s History of the United States…and has read them.
Also on those sagging shelves could be books by Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Jim Hightower, Hunter S. Thompson, Margaret Atwood, Sinclair Lewis, Edward Abbey, Rachel Carson, Mark Twain, Chris Hedges, Louis H. Lapham, Ralph Nader, William Rivers Pit, Daniel Ellsberg, Nick Palast; so many author names that you don’t even recognize. Who ARE those people? And they’re running out of room for any more books…
They don’t like to shop at Walmart or Amazon…or any box store if at all possible.
They still support non-corporate sponsored alternative publications and investigative reporting websites with what little income they have because they know even a little helps.
Argues with the corporate TV news talking heads…if they even watch that propaganda-spewing box at all and haven’t pulled the plug yet.
Still has lots of vhs movies on their shelves, and in the 5,000+ stacks are classics like A Boy and His Dog, Alice’s Restaurant, Dr. Strangelove, and leaks tears for Bullworth, Oliver Stone’s JFK, and they still root for Billy Jack. And they actually have many foreign films that you have to READ the English subtitles… the horrors of doing that! Newer dvds such as The Corporation, Fast Food Nation, Food Inc., Fahrenheit 911, Idiocracy, George Carlin’s Commemorative Collection, fill out those shelves. Who is George Carlin, grandpa?
They still smoke cannabis even if it has been (sort of) re-legalized. And they still call it ‘reefer’ and ‘weed’ and favor rolling fat joints instead of vaping.
There’s an old photograph print that you saw on the wall in their house of somebody named Mussolini and his mistress hanging upside down by their ankles in front of a gas station that has ‘this is what we do to Fascists’ scrawled underneath.
Anybody else care to add more?
sealintheSelkirks