The Bedeviled Dictionary

by on January 15, 2016 · 0 comments

in Politics, Satire

By Bob Dorn / San Diego Free Press

(Inspired by The Devil’s Dictionary, which Wikipedia says is “a satirical dictionary written by American journalist and author Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in 1906 as The Cynic’s Word Book, it features Bierce’s witty and often ironic spin on many common English words.”)

Three of the definitions here were written by Ambrose Bierce. Can you guess which ones?

Aa as in anarchist

Avarice. Religion for narcissists, and the disillusioned.

Apocalyptus The last tree.

Apocalyptician Elected, by god.

Apocalypso Natty Dread

Apocalips Botoxed

Affluent a condition limited to Republicans

B B on fire

Bastard a Republican whose mother disagrees with him

C the letter c

Centertainment. American Idol. NCIS. Rock n’ Roll Coverbands. Facebook. Democratic convention rhetoric.

Condominimal My place

Computerror Nerds take over

D darrell rap sheet

Desperate. A Republican on the California Coast. A Democrat living anywhere else.

Deftinition A coinage that proves helpful in explaining new social phenomena

Dysfengshui Design that ignores function

Drunkometer Device worn at elbow that measures number of times arm is bent

E exxon busted

Elephantism. The belief that the bigger the corporation the better.

F facebook_logo1

#Finance Fraud. Finagle.

G cool-graffiti-alphabet-350x382

# Gasoline (see above entry)

H I hate hipsters

Halffluent (pron.: h-affluent): 1, The Middle Class; 2, Democrats

Hipocrat North Park condo dweller

Hiphopcracy rich poets

Hidiocy Cable television

I i love coffee for Kakao

Impresso A trendy coffee house

J jealousy

Jealousy The seamy side of love

K amerikkkan

Kleptomaniac A rich thief

L The new boss, same as the old boss?

La Jolla Where the Democratic club is progressive and
the Democratic council member is not.

M 155893276_9e12c8167a_Mission-Valley

Mediate rule

Missing Valley formerly, Mission Valley

N Pocketp

Nerd obsolete

O moran flag

Oregonads The Bundy boys

Oma Lisa Buddhist god

Q nfl-oakland-raiders-san-diego-chargers1-590x900

Qualcomm Stadium Former home to The Chargers,
soon to be the Aztecs’… no, wait a minute… John Moores
MSL team… no, wait a minute, this just in, the NRA is
going to launch its monthly gun show in Qualcomm, Mayor
Kevin Faulconer announced today.
Or, just “New home to the NRA’s monthly gun show.”

P sarah_palin_rally_answer_2_xlarge

Palindrone One who speaks like her

R From Civic San Diego website drawing of the Pinnacle(s) project looking to northeast.

Residensity East Village

S Shwedagon-Pagoda-Myanmar-for-website

Spagoda Asian jacuzzi shelter

Sillycons Powerful nerds

T thumbs_Mouth-car

Toyota Toto A car model name (others include Lexus Sexist, Ford FU150, Cadillac Excessive, etc. etc.)

U grumpycat

# Ugh Sound made while watching the news

V delta dental

Vampirates New Broadway musical

W wuss

# Wuss. I don’t know what this means

X x rated

# no important words start with X, excepting xylophone

Y chargers helmit

Year A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments

Z zebra-costume-for-dogs-1

# Zebra 1. Costume worn by horses in old jungle films 2. Football officials, unofficially


# I’m not proud of any of the entries marked with this whatever-it’s-called; the definitions that follow these alphabetical entries are desperate last minute inventions and readers are encouraged to offer their own deftinitions.

%@&*#!!! – The damned editor picked out the graphics. It’s not my fault.

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