Can You Have Longtime Friends Who Were Never Your Friends?

by Ernie McCray 

I ran across
a picture of me
and two of my closest friends
growing up,
and I thought
of something I read that said:
“You can be friends with people
for years
and it could take years
for you to realize they were
never your friend”

and I wondered how that

could be

as such thinking

doesn’t make sense to me

when I assess friendships

I’ve enjoyed

over two centuries

with friends like these,

in my precious collection of memories,

posing with me.

Now, I’ve parted

with friends

due to some circumstances

where our paths

sent us off in opposite directions

but they were certainly

my friends

before the separation,

based on all the jams we listened to

jazz, R&B, philharmonic,

music with a Latin touch,

an occasional Emmy Lou

or some such…

all the lifting of each other up

when life seemed too corrupt,

leaving us with the blues,

unglued,

getting by giving each other

“So glad to see you” smiles

and hugs with snugs

that were tightened just right,

disagreeing with each other

without getting into a fight,

with a little capping on the side

if the tenor of the debate

required some easing

making way for a little laughter

and silliness

to enter the fray,

giving way to making

the day a good day,

like the best of friends

or just good friends,

but friends,

as who could engage for years

in such ways

and not really be your friend.

What was in it for them

faking being my friend,

spending so much time with me,

so much energy on me?

What are the signs

that indicate

that their friendship

wasn’t quite on the up and up,

not fully copacetic

or genuine?

Oh, well,

asking for a friend

or, at least, I think they’re a friend (smile)

I wonder if the person
who created the meme
that triggered my thoughts
on this theme
was the person
who had never really been the friend
because who else could think
up such a thing?