Overcoming Gloom In a Grand Canyon State of Mind

By Ernie McCray

Overcoming Gloom In a Grand Canyon State of Mind

The other day

I sat in my living room

caught up in thoughts of my daughter,

feeling a kind of gloom

that seemed to loom

over me

like a petrifyingly dark full moon

in a horror movie

(Photo: Kerry Randolph/Flickr/CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0)

that levitates over a chillingly mysterious tomb –

and I sought to overcome

this melancholy

as it was such a nice

sunny breezy afternoon

and I somehow

got beyond it a bit,

the ponderous aspects

of it,

by letting my thoughts

wander here and there,

anywhere other than

the dark shadows of my

living room

and soon

my thoughts reflected

the beauty of the afternoon,

wafting off to my home,

Arizona, where I was born,

where my daughter was born,

and, in such a state of mind,

I walked paths

I had once trod

in the Grand Canyon,

paths that soon

freed me of my gloom,

paths that whitened

and brightened

the moon in that gloom,

and allowed it

to shed light in

the darkness

of the frightening wilderness,

that is my fragile soul.

And I imagined

as I made my way

along trails

in such an awe-inspiring place,

how magnificent it would be

if we human beings could be

just as wonderful,

just as deep thinking

as the canyon is in its depths,

as open minded

as it is at its broadest,

just as strong in our resolve

to love and appreciate each other

as are the currents of the Colorado River

that rush through the canyon after

the monsoon season amps its rapids,

just as beautiful in our interactions

with each other

as the canyon’s sights:

its wildflowers, in all its colors,

its cacti on the inner canyon floors,

its ponderosa pines at its heights,

its star-filled night skies,

its springs and waterfalls,

its beaches and side canyons

carved by eons of erosions,

its majesty seen from outer space.

And I asked of the universe

what if we could rise above our

penchant for wars

and our prejudices and suspicions

of each other

like the bald and golden eagles

soar above the canyon’s

violent thunderstorms

and be sure of each other’s goodwill

towards each other

with the confidence of the big horn sheep

who scramble up the canyon’s steep slopes

at high speed

and walk and play

at the edge of its cliffs…

Oh, my mind, that day,

overflowed with “ifs” and “what ifs” –

but, in my Grand Canyon State of Mind,

I overcame the gloom

that weighed on me

in my living room

and promised my daughter,

as she rests in peace,

that I will forever pursue

the better world

that she and I

wished for.