by on January 27, 2008 · 0 comments

in Satire

Straight from the pages, or the cover actually, of the OB People’s Rag of May 1973, Watergate Munopoly! (click here to see the entire cover)

Watergate Munopoly Game Board!

Click on the image to see a larger version


Some Suggested MUNOPOLY Rules:

  1. First player gets $1,000,000, the other players get $3200 each.
  2. Proceed from “GO” according to die.
  3. Properties can be purchased at 50 times rent, Developments:
    House and condominiums cost 50 times their rent.
    Rent is not due unless one player owns land, with a house it is rent times 5, and with a condominium it is rent times 10.
  4. To get out of jail costs $400. To put someone in jail costs $4000. All funds payable to CREEP car of “Free Parking.”



This scandal uncovered by no other than consumer advocate Ralph Nader, involves a possible pay-off from dairymen to the Nixon Campaign in return for the Nixon Administration’s raising milk price supports.


Polls show that Nixon is behind Muskie, the leading Democratic candidate. Jack Anderson has discovered that Nixon ordered an espionage effort to undercut Muskie’s strength and replace him with a “weak” candidate, either McGovern or Wallace.


Hunt and Liddy break-in to Ellsberg’s psychiatrist’s office and don’t get caught but they don’t find what they’re looking for!


Remember the famous “Dita Beard Memo?” The memo indicated that a large cash contribution from ITT to Nixon’s campaign resulted in the Justice Department’s dropping a suit against ITT. Meanwhile the convention was moved from San Diego and John Mitchell conveniently resigns as Attorney General to become the head of CREEP (Committee to re-elect el Presidente). Also, for the record, Hunt (of Watergate) visited Beard in her hospital room. He was disguised in a red wig.


Ellsberg is disrupted and almost beaten-up while speaking at an antiwar rally in Washington. The four men that were involved here were also active in CIA work in the Miami Cuban community–Gonzalez, Sturgis, Martinez, and Barker–sound familiar?


A team of raiders break into Democratic offices at the Watergate, photograph files and tap the phone of party officer Spencer Oliver. They are not caught.


Five men are arrested inside the Watergate wearing surgical gloves and with delicate photographic equipment. They are: James McCord Jr., security director of CREEP, Gonzalez, Barker, Martinez, and Sturgis. Yes, those same four! By the way, Sturgis had been questioned by the FBI back in ’63 on details surrounding the Kennedy assassination. Could Watergate somehow be related to JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X…??? Anyway, Hunt and Liddy are there but they escape.


Dean is directed by Nixon to investigate the case. He goes through the contents of Hunt’s safe removing several documents but nothing is turned over to the FBI for six days.


As Nixon announces that the White House had no involvement in Watergate Martha Mitchell calls her favorite news people to give a few hints to the contrary. She is forcefully pulled away from the phone.


Ehrlichman gives L. Patrick Gray, Acting Head of FBI, two files which he burns a week later allegedly without looking at them. On the same day LIDDY is fired from CREEP for refusing to answer FBI questions.


Mitchell quits as head of CREEP blaming Martha’s ultimatum as the main reason. Very convenient, huh?


Nixon again states that no one in the White House was involved in this “bizarre incident.”


Hunt and Liddy are indited along with the five men who were arrested inside the Watergate.


Hunt’s wife Dorothy is killed in a plane crash over Chicago. In her purse was found $10,000 in $100 bills.


Campaign reports filed by CREEP, those that were filed, show that some of the heaviest contributors to Nixon’s campaign were later appointed to ambassadorships.


McCord, in jail, writes to the Judge from the trail saying that he had been pressured to remain silent and that perjury was committed in the trail. He offers to tell all.


Haldeman tells a group of GOP Congressmen that he had personally ordered “surveillance” of the Democrats but that it “got out of hand.”


Nixon withdraws Gray’s nomination as Head of the FBI. On the same day McCord begins testifying before the Grand Jury.


Magruder tells federal prosecutors that Mitchell and Dean had approved the bugging of the Watergate.


Washington Post breaks a story revealing that CREEP paid for telegrams and letters to be sent to the White House supporting the mining of Haipong Harbor.


Ehrlichman and Mitchell are questioned in connection with financier Robert Vesco, who made $200,000 secret cash contribution to the Nixon campaign. Vesco is in trouble with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Mitchell was being interrogated to see if he opened the doors for any of the Vesco’s shady deals. Ehrlichman was reported to have promised to help Vesco take over a Lebanese bank.


Ziegler announces that Ehrlichman, Haldeman and Kleindienst have resigned and that Dean is fired.

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