Ernie McCray Turns 85 Today — Aging Memories

by Ernie McCray

I’m at an age
when my life
consists of mostly memories
and sometimes these remembrances
come to me
suddenly
and randomly,
as I can, in one moment,
remember
a time when I was
down, up against it,
overwhelmed
with cares and woes
like a man adrift in a dark churning sea,
a swallow away from drowning,
finally overcoming
and becoming himself again,
and in the next moment
my recollections
might plop me down at a desk
on my first day of school,
in Tucson, Arizona
in the summertime
with temperatures like the eternal fires in hell
all the time,
and I’m getting those knuckles of mine
swatted to Kingdom Come
by Sister Mary Benedict,
a gangsta kind of nun,
for the sin of nodding off
and not paying attention
in a classroom that has no cooling system
other than a little raggedy ass fan,
in the window,
fighting for its breath,
blowing across water in a shallow pan,
as though that was going to affect
the heat in that room.
Poor fan just gave out
one afternoon.

Oh, my life is rich with memories.
In so many different categories:
I remember sitting on the back of buses
and in the front of trains,
being in spelling bees
and playing a variety of ball games,
marching in the streets
for peace and liberty
and decency
and I have a memory
of how memories can be glamorized,
an endeavor my generation,
as have all past generations,
has utilized
to put-down
younger generations,
under the general heading of
“The Good Old Days,”
recalling an old friend
at a high school reunion
going on and on
about the lyrics in songs
in our day
being better than the music of these modern days,
as in the background
“Yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-moo-moo-moo-moo-moo-moo-get-a-job”
played
and then she did a monologue
about how we restrained from having sex
back in those days,
while I resurrected in my mind how we,
a drive-in-movie generation,
would go home, after a lot of
hot-back-seat-of-the-car-action,
hoping our parents wouldn’t ask these two questions:
“What was the movie about?”
and
“Why are your clothes on backwards?”

Hey, I was a father at 18
so, I can’t throw shade
on the sexual attitudes of today.
But I relish such memories
of growing up
and coming to be
and I especially
like how recollections
can remind you how,
at times,
you’ve had to pick yourself up
and keep on stepping
like when I was going through the aforementioned
low times in my life,
ensnared in a hole
that was heavily laden
with gloom and darkness,
I, eventually,
to bring some jubilation
to my situation,
began doing standup comedy
at talent shows
figuring if I could
make somebody laugh,
I might laugh, too –

Somewhere along the line,
based on memories of mine,
I acquired a “can do”
attitude.
I’ll try to keep it
until my life
is through.