Friend Thoughts

by Ernie McCray

I see so many memes on social media about “fake friends” as opposed to “true friends.”

They’re posted as warnings by folks who apparently aren’t doing well in the friend department.

I usually just glance at them but this one caught my eye the other day: “Pay close attention to those who don’t clap when you win.”

And I found myself saying out loud: “Come on, now. Really?” I should focus on somebody who doesn’t care diddly-squat about me when I’ve got friends who wish the world for me?

Then I remembered reading this gem: “Fake friends. Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.”

Hey, what’s wrong with a little free publicity?

And how about “One fake friend can do more damage than five enemies.”

Enemies? I’d have to take myself way too seriously to think that just because there are some people who don’t consider me the “cat’s meow” or “the bee’s knees” or their “cup of tea,” that they’re my enemy.

They go their way and I go mine and likely “never the twain shall meet.”

“Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.”

Right. So, now what is a person to do, look at their friends and ask: “Who you smiling at, fool!”

Okay. I get it. We live in a world where we do have to be careful. There are people who might take you for a ride or beat you out of something; people who would never be on your side.

But when I look at the fear of friendships expressed in these memes, I can’t help but think, as a person who has been blessed with incredibly wonderful friends my whole life, of how those relationships came about because we shared something in common.

I mean I’ve made friends playing just about every kind of ball there is.

I’ve become close to folks with whom I’ve appeared on stage or met at a party.

Some people have become my friends as we were marching and chanting side by side against wars and for civil and human rights.

Through our commonality my friends and I listen to each other attentively.

Sometimes we argue but we do so respectfully and respectably, sometimes having to, as they say, agree to disagree.

We laugh with each other, at the drop of a hat, loudly and gleefully and freely, at times just to be silly.

With high fives we celebrate upswings in our pursuits and we’re there in a hurry to pick each other up when our lives are singing the blues.

And there’s no place anywhere in this loving energy for fakeness because none of us had any ulterior motives in mind when we became friends.

We found just through being in each other’s company that we could respect and trust each other and depend on each other for emotional support.

So, through a meme, I offer this advice regarding friendships: “If your friends don’t motivate and inspire you, you’re choosing them all wrong.”

And rather than dwell on people who don’t wish you well, just leave them be, and find friends with whom you need to be.