“My Grandma’s High on Weed”

“My Grandma’s High on Weed”

My grandma has a case of shingles,

She hurts terribly bad,

I wish I could do something for her,

It makes me extremely sad.

Grandma went to her doctor,

Who gave her a strong pain pill,

But all that it managed to do for her,

Was to make her feel more ill.

Grandma went back to the doctor,

Begging for some relief,

 The doctor said to get a weed card

 And then go buy some leaf.

So Grandma looked on Google’s list

 To find the closest place,

Drove herself to the parking lot –

Of course it was owned by ACE.

Up the elevator she did go;

 Got off on the second floor.

 Looked around and finally saw,

 A closed wooden door.

 The message said “come right in”

And fill out the form on the table,

Someone will see you very soon

 Just the minute they are able.

 The doc was in and he was nice

 He explained the costs and gave her a price

 The certificate was cheap; the “card” cost more

She had them both when she walked out the door.

Now, she wondered, what do I do?

She called her friends – the ones that knew.

She went on line and looked at a menu

This restaurant critic had an entirely new venue

The edibles were costly – $150 a pack

She just needed to buy a small sack

Indica for sleep; Juicy Fruit and Harlequin too

 Now Grandma needed to know just what to do.

 A trip to the BLACK solved the problem fast,

 Rollers, zig zag papers, a water pipe ,

 On her way home at last.

 Friends would teach her how to rid herself of pain

 She might need some lessons, again and again.

 She learned to roll, to suck up the smoke

Trouble was, she could only choke.

So now she’s done it a few times,

But the shingles are still ringing her chimes.

Granddaughter has asked” what’s the funny smell?”

Oh, poor grandma, she’s on her way to hell.

If anyone knows a better way,

Grandma is willing to hear what you say.

But until that time while the shingles abound

She’ll smoke that weed found in the ground.