First Cuppa Coffee – April 19th, 2012: Wanted: Ted or Alive Edition

We’re not sure you want to hear this, Mitt Romney, but… your new associate is a pedophile. Just thought you’d like to know…

Rocker Ted Nugent’s status has shifted in recent days from self-proclaimed advisor to the Romney campaign to far right superhero, with the fringish World Net Daily pimping bumper stickers that say “Ted Nugent for President”. There is also a petition available online allowing you to “Show your support for Ted Nugent and his bold defense of America in response to Barack Obama’s destructive administration”. And a Facebook page in support of Ted Nugent for President.

The Secret Service gets in the picture…  All this attention has come about because he mouthed off at the National Rifle Association, saying things that some people felt could be interpreted as threatening the life of the President of the United States. The 2007 concert performance wherein he invites the Prez to “suck on the barrel” of a machine gun that he’s waving around on stage set the standard for Nugent, and he’s been lurking around stage right for some time now waiting for his moment in the sun:

The longtime advocate for gun rights compared President Obama and the Democrats to an unwanted animal visiting someone’s home. “It isn’t the enemy that ruined America,” he said, affirming his support for Republican presidential front-runner Mitt Romney.

“It’s good people who bent over and let the enemy in. If the coyote’s in your living room pissing on your couch, it’s not the coyote’s fault. It’s your fault for not shooting him.”

 So ABC News reports he got the “visit”….. from Secret Service agents wanting to make sure that he wasn’t a real threat.  And Willard Romney smiled and said “be nice”. I think it was just as likely that the Secret Service guys were asking for advice on covering up scandals. You see, ol’ Ted’s got quite the history of what some might call inappropriate relationships with youngsters. He calls it ‘alternative flesh management’, like its some kind of joke. A very sick joke, as it turned out when Courtney Love phoned into the Howard Stern show to share her experiences as a 12 year old groupie with Nugent. Need more? It’s disgusting. You’ll want to wash your own mouth out after reading about it, and no, it’s not titillating.

These aren’t the kind of quotes that will get you elected…

When I heard it, I thought, “Oh, my goodness. This guy has no idea how beloved this institution is that provided these cookies. We wanted him to be welcomed with the best in the burgh, and he had no idea.”

That would be Bethel, Pennsylvania bakery owner John Walsh, responding to reports that candidate Romney poked fun at the desserts at a community event staged to honor his visit:

“I’m not sure about these cookies. They don’t look like you made them,” Romney said to the woman sitting next to him. “No, no. They came from the local 7-eleven, bakery, or whatever.”

Walsh later told the Wall Street Journal  “Let him eat cake next time,” linking Romney to Marie Antoinette. The bakery owner also put the cookies on special, dubbing it the “CookieGate” special, where customers could buy a dozen of the stackable items to get a half-dozen on the house.

Calling Carl DeMaio… We’ve got a sure way for the Mayoral candidate to enhance his campaign, while improving the appearance and performance of his web site… From the Danger Room, a blog focusing on national security issues, comes a report on the web prowess of The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  Their official site features “a Flash-heavy official webpage in English, to instruct the curious about the peculiar ways of its homebrewed “Juche” ideology (“…the masters of the revolution and construction are the masses of the people and that they are also the motive force of the revolution and construction…”).

But, here’s the deal Carl, they got it for a mere $15.  We sure he’ll see that there’s wisdom in North Korea’s online thrift.

Not rising from the dead department… Finally, there is no truth to the rumor that the Democratic convention will be using the same technology as Coachella did to create a holograph of rapper Tupac.  Organizers report the decision not to have a holographic Ronald Reagan endorse the President was vetoed personally by Michelle Obama.