The battle of Yuletide Hill

by on December 23, 2010 · 4 comments

in Culture

Editor: CityBeat’s Ed Decker – who writes poetry for the OB Rag and has promised us a column – is organizing “Armies of the War on Christmas mount a comeback”.

By Edwin Decker / San Diego CityBeat

Thanks to a spate of failed ACLU lawsuits, Bill O’Reilly and his ilk are claiming they have “won the war on Christmas.” However, what O’Reilly and friends don’t know is that a military alliance of atheists, agnostics and cynics—known as the Axis of Unbelievers (AU)—is about to launch a full-scale invasion on the Christmas command center located atop Yuletide Hill.

I know this because, at this very moment, the AU troops are positioned at the bottom of the hill and await my instruction—for I am the ranking Agnostic in charge. I check my weapon, take a deep breath and give the “Go” command. It is the Battle of Yuletide Hill, a day that will live in infamy.

Their fortress looms above us. Beside it stands a 100-foot Christmas tree, from which dangle ornaments made from the skulls of unbelievers and garland made from their entrails. Heavy-caliber machine-gunners are positioned at the base of the tree, and elfmanned mortar cannons are cleverly camouflaged amid the straw and statues of a nativity scene.

For the remainder of this battle plan, go to San Diego CityBeat here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

annagrace December 23, 2010 at 11:36 am

AU- Axis of Unbelievers…. Love it. Do you ever think we’ll see a president who is the big A (no, I don’t mean Anglican) ????


Patty Jones December 23, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Probably about the time hell freezes over. ;)


Diane5150 December 24, 2010 at 5:40 am

I personally belong to the Church of Doom. We would be willing to form an alliance with the AU, to the benefit of all.


Old Hermit Dave December 24, 2010 at 11:42 am

The science mind invents something to move the BIG STONE, the religious mind prays over it and asks God to move it, the politician mind hires a multi- national corporation to move it and gets a kick back.


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