(Editor's Note: this photo was grabbed off the internet, and in no way resembles any of Judi's neighbors.)
About 5 months ago, I received a letter from the San Diego Water District telling me that a complaint had been made from a neighbor that I was using too much water on my lawn. I was told, in the form letter, that unless I cut back on my watering, I would face a fine and higher water prices.
The letter started me laughing, because just 5 days before receiving the letter, the San Diego Water District came out to the house, at my request, to check and see if there was anyway that I could cut back on watering and not lose my plants and/or lawn. The Inspector told me that, in actuality, I was not using my full allotment of water, and, if I found plants were dying, I still had more minutes to water.
I called the department that sent me a letter, as the letter indicated I should do if I disagreed with the intent, and left 4 messages to have them call me back. I never heard from the department.
At the time I wondered which of my neighbors had become a member of the “water police” and although I could narrow it down I had no idea who was the culprit. I almost forgot about the entire situation until about a week ago when the following took place:
I became a widow in September of 2009. During our time in San Diego, my husband and I purchased a house and had a “handyman” take care of those things that neither Bob nor I could do. After he died, (Bob, not the handyman), there were still things that needed doing, but since I was on a much smaller income I could no longer afford to call the handyman when the need arose.
It just so happens that my daughter started dating a gentleman in July of 2009. He is very handy around the house, and although he and my daughter are no longer “an item”, he still comes to see me and we share a cup of coffee in the morning with my foreign language students. While here, he fixes little things that need repair – like replacing the batteries in the smoke detectors; like replacing the wiring on a lamp that was burning hot; like putting a pool cover in the pool and on the rollers so that we could swim later in the season, etc.
He arrives at his work about 5:00am and takes a break between 7-7:30am. Since he works up on the base near our home, he can be here in 5 minutes for his daily cup of java.
Due to torn rotator cuffs caused by lifting Bob out of his wheelchair, I have had physical therapy 3 times a week for months, and my appointments are on Aero Drive starting at 8:30am. My friend is usually gone by 8:00am. My students leave the house to catch the 35 bus at 7:35am.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because five days ago one of my neighbors called this man’s boss and said she didn’t know what was going on but that his car is in my drive-way everyday from 7 to 9 a.m. and she thinks he should look into why he is here? (I can’t help but wonder if this is the same “water police” neighbor.)
I have to ask what business is it of hers that he is here every day. Should I be flattered to think that she thinks that a boyfriend of my daughter is interested in this 71 year old widow?
Or should I be pissed off to think that she has reported this “infraction” to a 56 year old man’s boss? If she thinks that he is derelict in his duties, doesn’t she realize that if that were true his boss would be aware of it and would handle it?
This man works a 10 hour day, 5 days a week and often on Saturday too. What the hell is she doing up at 7:00am every morning and snooping in my driveway. (She did have the license number of the truck in the driveway.)
I don’t remember any of my neighbors offering to take out the heavy garbage containers on Monday’s. I don’t remember any of my neighbors asking if there was anything they could help me with to make things a little easier. (That is not entirely true – several of the women that do not live on my block have asked if they could help me.)
This man makes it a point to be at the house early to take out the trash on Mondays, and frequently swings by at the end of the day to bring the containers back into the yard so that I do not have to tax my shoulders with the additional strain.
Lady, if you are able to read this, let me tell you as succinctly as possible to mind your own f – – – ing business; if you want to know why a truck is parked in my driveway in the morning – or into the night for that matter – ask me. I would tell you, and probably invite you in for a cup of coffee too.
I try to have my students speak to as many Americans as possible so that they get the experience of speaking English no matter what time of day it may be. And…be careful with your next complaint, because it is not beyond me to retaliate by taking you to court and suing you for defamation of character, thus I hope, assassinating your character in the process.
I’ve become used to the phrase “big brother is watching”, but I don’t have a “big sister” and if I did, it certainly would not be you.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
If you need any web work done I’d be happy to build you a personal blog.
My mother had a problem with her neighbors up in Oceanside- they planted 4 queen palms in front of my mom’s once unobstructed ocean view… I got sick of hearing her carping about it, so I set her up with a Blog.
http://oceansidetrees.com
Of course I’ve nothing to do with any of the content there.
And my mom is a creative artist. I taught her basic animation techniques and she’s “taken flight” as they say.
If you want to start throwing proverbial darts with the busybody, my mom can offer great tactics and strategy.
The city of Oceanside is finding themselves more and more embarrassed over this hideous waste of bandwidth, so in effect, it’s working.
OMG, I knew busybody neighbors could be pesty, but Judi, I think your story takes the cake. The water-policing is bad enough, but the handyman-policing is straight-up unbelievable. Do you know which neighbor it was? (I’m not sure I’d want to know… would be hard to not get angry at the sight of her…)
BillyRay, your mom’s site is hilarious! Love how her neighbor from hell is one of those people who thinks they own the curbside parking spot in front of their house. I grew up next to one of those, so I know how much fun they can be.
BillyRay, I love the website. First time I’ve laughed out loud in a long time! And Shane, I don’t know for sure who the snoop is, but I would venture to say she lives between my house and your Mom’s house.
I think whomever she is, she is jealous as hell and doesn’t have enough to do. Too bad she doesn’t volunteer somewhere and give her a reason to exist. She’s a snoopy old broad, I’d say.
A few years ago, a neighbor asked me when I was moving to Europe. That was news to me, I had no intention of moving anywhere. It turned out that another neighbor was gossiping that I was moving to Europe, after she heard gossip that I had just started a new job for a European company (that part was true). I had to do damage control with neighbors who believed her over me.
Snoopy, gossipy neighbors can be a serious threat to a person’s privacy and good character. A good neighbor has to respect boundaries or face consequences.
Hi Ro and Wireless,
I can’t believe some people. Ro, you are so right. She must not have anything else to do, but if it is the person I think it is, she is an active “tea party” member; always “working for the cause”; never sleeps because there is “so much to do”. Funny – I don’t trust the tea party people anyway, but she exemplifies , in my own mind, just how narrow the “party” is.
And Wireless – you are so right about privacy and character. Both the gentleman and I are single; I once said this time around I would be a “cougar” because both of my previous spouses were older than me; and if I want to have a gentleman caller every morning from 7-9 am that is MY business. (Of course – it isn’t my BUSINESS, just to keep the record straight.) But I am really so irked; irked because I don’t know who else she might have told; and if “damage control” is necessary, I am not sure where to start. Thanks for your understanding.
Judy, you crack me up!
Opening a brothel, I hear!
s
Dear Sarah and Zach,
Sarah, you hit it right on the head. I’m looking for a “few good women” to help me staff the brothel. Don’t know about the pay yet – probably will be on commission under the bed, (whoops, under the table) but your own hours.
And Zach – surely you knew that I had a sense of humor. I just don’t want anyone to know it. After all, after I recruit for my brothel, I will have to add entertainment and I have always wanted to be a stand-up comedienne so it is a natural for me. (Well, not “stand up” per se…….)
I wish I knew for certain who this snoopy neighbor might be. I can pretty much limit it to one person, but what if I am wrong? Who knows what the next report might be. Ya know – I’ve been complaining about all the helicopters flying overhead at night. Do you think they are taking pictures? Happy Thanksgiving, all.
I’m looking for a “few good women” to help me staff the brothel. Don’t know about the pay yet – probably will be on commission under the bed, (whoops, under the table) but your own hours.
Thanks to the Shake Weight I’m primed to give old fashions.
I’ll let you know when the interviews will take place. Meanwhile, practice, practice, practice.
Or at least until I get carpal tunnel syndrome. Thank you Jesus for making me ambidextrous.
Oh my gosh, you ladies have my kind of humor. Love it! I wrote a (fictional) play about a snoopy neighbor calling the police about a woman who had a few too many “boyfriends” and she was arrested for running a brothel. One criticism I heard was that it was too far fetched. You ladies would have recognized the basic truth of the premise I think. Reality is far funnier than fiction!
First let me say how impressed I am with your sense of humor. I’m really enchanted with the audacity of the title of this piece. Humor won’t mow the lawn, but it’s good for a lot of things.
Second, can it be that your neighbor is really so bored and unfulfilled by her life that she’s calling your visitor’s boss? What in heaven’s name is she after, trying to make the world satisfy her sensibilities? She must really be jealous of you, that you have visitors, for one thing, and that you have people to help you as she surely knows if she’s watching that closely.
Third, please take it easy, Ms. Curry. Best of luck with your physical therapy, and have a great laugh with your morning crowd over the neighbor who’s making herself a comedic figure!
I hear ya Judi! I have a neighbor whom I think has the Code Compliance Office on speed dial.
Do you live near me? I think it may be the same person!
Hey Judi, Do I have to interview for the job? And with whom? tee hee Maybe you should put on some sexy lounging pajamas and make sure you go outside to meet your visitors and really give her something to talk about. Or better still, forget about her. A supervisor once told me, as I was complaining about some staff members who were besmirching my supervisory skills that: “The people who know and respect you won’t believe the bullsh**, and the ones who dislike you will believe what they want to, no matter how much you try to set the record straight.” And he was right. As long as you are living your life as you see fit and you aren’t hurting anyone else, then don’t sweat what the busybodies have to say. Hugs and happy thanksgiving. :)
Hey Ro, Thought I might have you on the interview “team” rather than have you try out. But…what ever you prefer. I have walked Buddy up and down the street since I heard from my friend, but if the lady (?) is home she has not come out to talk to me.
My friend and I will be taking Buddy for a walk as soon as he feel better – had a tooth out today – and I will be glad to introduce him to her.
Judi, I think it’s time for the OB Rag to have our own Comedy Night at Winston’s … with you, Jon Carr, Doug and his dry wit, and others just get up and give our posts.