GOP Presidential Race: And They’re Off!

It’s precisely one thousand days until the next Presidential election, and the GOP, sensing a great political opportunity, is fielding a virtual Kentucky Derby of candidates. CNN, which hasn’t had much on lately in the way of political coverage, has come forth with a new poll that measures the potential candidates’ popularity within the GOP. (There are also polls here, here, and here.)

It’s only a matter of days until CNN drags it’s big boards out of storage and plops various talking heads in front of them to offer us ignorant voters insights into this crucial race. Here, for those of you who are wondering, are the candidates, selected by an informal survey of unemployed conservative news analysts.

Fmr. Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-Rock)

Fmr. Gov. Mitt Romney (R-Paper)

Gov. Sarah Palin (R-Scissors)

Fmr. Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-Twitter)

RNC Chairman Michael Steele (R-Doghouse)

Soothsayer Alan Keyes (R-The Outer Limits)

Sen. Jim DeMint (R-15th Century)

Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Evelations)

Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-Nyquil)

Gov. Piyush “Bobby” Jindal (R-Ukidding)

Gov. Bob Riley (R-Up The River)

Fmr. Gov. John Ellis “Jeb” Bush (R-Legacy)

Fmr. Sen. George Allen (R-Acist)

Fmr. Sen. Fred Thompson (R-SVU)

Fmr. Sen. Larry Craig (R-Next Stall Over)

Fmr. Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Estados Unidos)

Tagged as: GOP