Help the Republican Party pick a new name.

by on April 24, 2009 · 14 comments

in Media, Satire, War and Peace

Editor: Our blogger Doug Porter has picked up the news that certain Republicans want to rename the Democratic Party, so he has proposed the obvious. So, please help him, help us figure out a new name for the GOP. We simply ask that your proposals be somewhat appropriate for a progressive, family blog, that’s all. Go for it, kids!

Unlike our fair city of San Diego, our nation’s capitol boasts two daily newspapers. Pretty much everybody has heard of the Washington Post since that “Watergate” thingie happened and Hollywood made a movie about how great it was and stuff. And while the Washington Post has become sad shadow of the “great” (meaning many pages) newspaper it once was, both conservatives and liberals still enjoy sitting around their victrolas and talking about the left wing conspiracies that surely must be going on behind the scenes at the paper.

Fortunately for the nation, there is another voice in Babylon: it’s called the Washington Times. Owned by the Rev. Sung Yung Moon, the paper has soaked up hundreds of millions of dollars lovingly earned by disciples worldwide who work in various profit making organizations dedicated to spreading the word of this self-proclaimed messiah. The Times is unabashedly conservative and, as a voice for truth, torture and unlimited tax breaks for the rich, the paper often provides exclusive “insider” coverage of the Republican Party’s Grand Plan to recapture America’s heart and soul.

So it is of some interest that paper reported today (I read this crap so you don’t have to) about the upcoming special meeting of the Republican National Committee. It seems as though GOP state party leaders are rebelling against new RNC Chairman Michael Steele for failing to dub President Obama and the Democrats as “socialists.” Steele has been presented with a petition bearing the signatures of RNC members from 16 states – the number needed under RNC rules to convene an extraordinary meeting of the full committee next month.

There has been speculation that the GOP leader may be ousted as a result of this semantical split. While Steele has been willing to call Democrats “collectivists”, the “S-word” has yet to pass his lips. And, given that recent polls show no signs of hope for Republicans, many in the party now feel that name calling is the best option.

Here’s the Times’ money quote:

” ‘In just a few months, the goal of the Obama administration has become clear and obvious – to restructure American society along socialist ideals,’ Mr. Bopp said in summarizing the first resolution. The resolution’s chief sponsor is Washington state RNC member Jeff Kent, and it calls on the Democrats to be ‘truthful and honest with the American people by renaming themselves the Democrat Socialist Party.’

Given that the Republicans are the ones with the branding issue, perhaps they should consider re-naming their party. Please leave your suggestions in the comments section. I’ll be sure to forward the best entries directly to the proper authorities.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

mr fresh April 24, 2009 at 9:32 am

bill maher has an interesting post on this subject in today’s la times…,0,927819.story


lane tobias April 24, 2009 at 11:55 am

i like bill maher a whole lot more than I used to after reading that article.

My submission for consideration: The Repugnant Party.


Shawn Conrad April 24, 2009 at 12:01 pm

How about the Republican’t Party?


jon April 24, 2009 at 12:31 pm

How about, “The Irrelevants”


jon April 24, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Rhymes with “Elephants,” so not a huge change….


jon April 24, 2009 at 1:01 pm

The Capitalist party.

That was too easy.


annagrace April 24, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Repugnicans? WingNuts R Us? Know Nothing Party?


Old Hermit Dave April 24, 2009 at 10:41 pm

Oh yea the Mooney times. But check it out, this nut ball has a lot of powerful American politicians in his pocket. Keep in mind he thinks he is a god. Which shows how crazy American politicians are.


DrumnWebGuy April 25, 2009 at 2:45 am

Just keep it “The Republican Party”. The current stock of the GOP fought so hard to “win it”, let them wallow in the suffering that the name invokes. That kind of churn-in-the-stomach kind of feeling from 8 years of torture, Valerie Plame, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, etc……

They are all hard-right, religious kooks. The Republican party as we know it needs to be concatenated into a very small box, sealed off, and allowed to wither away and die off. “Kill it with Fire” if need be.

It’s time for the Libertarians to have a go with the Democrats. Labels are everything to the Gucci and Magli wearing crowd, all the way over to the Lucky Jeans and Hollister crew. As of right now, “Republican” is to the common vernacular as Ross Perot was described in the 1992 election “THe Crazy Aunt you keep locked in the basement”….my how times have reciprocated…..

I heard Texas wants to secede. Maybe all the republicans can move there. Ron Paul would have to move, that’s for sure.


Dave Gilbert April 25, 2009 at 3:27 pm

“Republican’t” Nice one Shawn! Nothing wrong with a little PUN-ishment. XD

I’m just gonna stick with an old yet relevant vocal exercise that I learned in my youth, and sing “Me Me Me Me”

Hey, No-ones leaving this planet with a U-Haul


J.Stone April 26, 2009 at 7:36 am

Soaw Party = ( Selfish Old and White)


Gene Lancaster April 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm

The Ignoranus Party

You’ll have to check out the Washington Post’s neologism contest winners this year to find out what this means, since we’re keeping the language down. I think it works quite well.


PSD April 30, 2009 at 8:01 pm

^ Spam alert.

Hard to top Republican’t punnishly, maybe Republi-con. I’ve gotten many a rise from righties by calling them simply the Republic party – apparently shortening the Democratic party to the Democrat party as frequently done by ol’ Dubya is intended as an insult (did I miss the memo?), so they get bent when the name-shortening is turned on them.


KS August 31, 2009 at 9:16 pm

The GOOP: Grand Old Obsolete Party.


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