I am no longer paying a fee to meet on-line men. Sites like E-Harmony, Match.Com, Zoosk, Senior People Meet, Big and Beautiful Dating Network, Our Time, etc. all charge a monthly fee for their “services.” I don’t know what their services entail, even though at one time or another I belonged to all of the above. They don’t check on the character of the individual; they sometimes notify me that one of their “members” wants to chat – or meet me – but as far as anything substantial there is a real void. I figure over the past year I have paid out over $800 for these “on-line” clubs.
There are a few sites that do not charge – “Plenty of Fish” (POF); OK Cupid/Quiver, as well as a few others. I have not removed my name from these sites because I am still hopeful that I will meet someone that will take away the loneliness I am experiencing by being a 4 year widow. So, in answer to the question about whether I am still using on-line dating, the answer is “yes”, but qualified.
Over the past few weeks, however, I am beginning to question of “why” I am still on line. The men I am meeting – or at least talking to – are, for the most part, odd. At times I have this fantasy of the police department calling me and asking me to look at a lineup of these men and pick out those that might be sex offenders. I have certainly wondered about some of them. (If it isn’t the police department it might be the mental health department!)
Of course you want to have an example. (And, of course, I want to share one with you.!) So…here we go. Several weeks ago I was corresponding with a man that had a nice profile, although too young for me. He said he was 37. My daughters have drummed into me that I should never date a man younger than my youngest daughter, and she is 49. I thanked him for the flattery, but told him he was too young. He went through this litany of why he likes older women – more experienced; know what they want; know what to do, etc. but again I refused.
A week or so ago I was interviewed on Channel 10 re: the picture posted with me and the former mayor. The first time I was called the “mystery woman” and they painted a picture of the mayor, only 48 hours resigned from office because of harassing women, having his picture taken with a woman, with his arm around her and a glass of beer in the other hand. I was that mystery woman, and to say I was pissed by the whole idea stuck in my craw.
Apparently Channel 10 decided to find that “mystery woman” and I was interviewed in a favorable way by a Channel 10 reporter. Unfortunately, the young man that I had recently turned down saw the interview, and tracked me down. Called me and told me how he just really liked what he heard; what he saw; and he really wanted to meet me.
In a moment of weakness, and still enjoying my “15 minutes of fame” I agreed. I don’t need to give you all the sordid details, but here is a summary of what took place:
Him: “I have a favor to ask you.”
Me: What’s that?
He: “Can I touch your breasts?”
He: “Can I masturbate with you watching me?”
Me: I couldn’t help but laugh as I said “no”. I couldn’t help myself so I asked him, “why would you want to masturbate when I am here and might do it for you?
He: “Because I know what feels good.” He was still talking as I escorted him out the door.
Not to be outdone, I received this message – twice. He must have forgotten he wrote to me already. In fact, I may have mentioned him the first time he wrote:
“I was curious to ask if you would ever considering mentoring someone like me? I am seeking a firm, but caring woman as a more disciplinarian figure in my life, one to help me in life and reaching goals etc I have set. I am NOT seeking sex or a relationship, but rather a dynamic where rules are set and you help me reach them. Ideally a woman not afraid to give a firm spanking from time to time as needed. I want a liberal- open minded woman who knows old fashion manners and how to instill them. “
I could have made a fortune on this guy. Every time I had to spank him I could charge him!
And here is another new one:
I am visiting San Diego in a couple of weeks and will be coming down there about once a month for work. I think you look very beautiful in your photo and wondering you consider a casual relationship with a slightly younger man? This could be temporary if you’re looking for something more serious in the long term or ongoing if you prefer…
If you’re open to this, I’m open to sharing a photo. Look forward to hearing from you and have a great day.
PS: although in under your desired age range…I’m a mature gentleman who is very respectful. Your smile and eyes ate very comforting and warm, especially the 1st one. Although I am younger than your youngest child, I am an old soul and very much enjoy spending time with mature women.”
He is 32!
I can’t begin to tell you the number of letters I receive all saying the same thing. I have been told they come from the prisons around California. An enterprising inmate writes letters for other inmates to send to women on line. The owner of POF said in a letter they were stopping one of the series because they were finding out that many of the “women” reacting to letters are really men. Along with the prison letters are letters from third world countries asking to come to the United States and meet me. I received 10 letters from Canadians in the months of March through June. I don’t even respond to those.
I have to admit that the well is almost dry. Most of the men I hear from now are men I heard from last year. I have yet to find a romantic interest that I would not be ashamed to introduce to my children and grandchildren. It is probably time to stop looking. But … what if there is one more out there? What if?
The picture attached to this article was sent to me by one of my dearest friends. I think he hit the dating services on the head: