The well has run dry! There is nothing to be had anywhere. Life is a sad, lonely spiral, as the tap only trickles its remaining rust and dirt from the spigot. What the hell is she talking about, you ask? On line dating, of course!
I’ve tapped into Zoosk. I turned the spigot off on eHarmony. I cleaned out the faucet on Mingle. I prayed for a good catch at JD. I fished at Plenty of Fish. I didn’t care if I was overweight at Big and Beautiful People Meet. I didn’t lie about my age at Senior People Meet. It wasn’t my time at OurTime.com. There were no rich men at RichMen.com. There were no matches at Match.com and several other sites that I don’t remember for I was with them a very short time.
I have found that I could make a lot of money if I wanted to engage in phone sex. Well, I don’t know if it would be a LOT of money, but I am getting pretty good at it. It is a little titillating – big tits do it for some men – but it’s not the way this former school principal wants her obituary to read. I am known for many things, but phone sex? Nah, don’t think so.
The experiences have been interesting, to say the least. How about the date where I had a $30 gift certificate and the total bill came to $6. I was asked for $4.50 – my part of the bill – even after paying out the $30 certificate.
Or how about the guy that told me I was everything he ever wanted in a woman – “beautiful, intelligent, sense of humor, etc., and when you lose 20# please give me a call.” Hell, if I was everything he wanted in a woman you’d think he would want more of me – not less.
How about this email I got recently: the man lives in Tucson and I told him that Tucson was just too far for a relationship. His answer? Copied directly – except he did it in all caps:
“Far away?? Obviously you don’t get out of San Diego very often. Thank you for turning me down. Your age is very evident. Good luck!!!.”
I kept a record of every time I was asked my bust size. You might find this hard to believe, but I was asked 76 times! I should have kept track of how many men I blocked, but I didn’t.
I was approached 56 times by men between the ages of 22 and 35. I usually asked them why they were interested in a great-grandmother, or what they thought their own mothers would say if I dated them? Same answer by most of them – “I have always liked older women.”
Over 136 men lived at least 100 miles away, with the farthest being in the UK and Tasmania.
Recently, as I went from site to site paying my last respects to my membership, I found that almost all of the sites had some of the same men on them — some using the same name, some using the same picture, some changing their profession, their age, their marital status.
Some were blatantly looking for sex. Some admitted to be married but said, “My wife doesn’t like sex anymore.” Some said that they had to resort to prescription drugs with their wives and want to see if that was true with a “fling.”
It goes on and on and on. But… I did meet a few nice men that I still go out to dinner with and consider friends. In fact, one of my friends now has a friend of his own, and brings her, too, when we go out. I am happy for him – and, quite honestly, a little bit jealous.
Recently I even met a male and a female that I greatly admire, and watching them it is obvious to me that they are in the beginning of a romantic relationship. How lucky for them; it is fun to watch, even though I feel a little awkward rounding out the threesome. But they keep asking me to go with them, and I don’t want to stay at home, so I go. (I did threaten to write a piece on their romance, but it will have to wait awhile.)
I’ve now been to senior citizen meetings – all women for the most part. I rejoined the Point Loma Democratic Club for intellectual stimulation, although I am not sure that was the kind of stimulation I was interested in receiving. I am getting active in politics again.
I might even step out to one of the Ocean Beach Bars – purely for research purposes, you understand. Sort of to broaden out my restaurant reviews. I have attended OASIS classes – nothing there that is worth anything, except to relieve the boredom I frequently feel staying at home.
So the search goes on – what more can I say? I’m still looking – and maybe someday my prince will come into Point Loma on his white steed, pull into my circular driveway, and sweep me off my feet. Until then … I’m still looking.