Beauty Crowned and Trumped

by on May 14, 2009 · 15 comments

in Health, Media

“If her (Carrie Prejean’s)  beauty wasn’t so great, nobody would have cared what she said.”  Donald Trump, Owner, Miss California USA

News about beauty pageants engenders pretty much the same response in me as the announcement of a new brand of breakfast cereal-“here comes more refined sugar in a new box.”

The 2007 Miss Universe Competition did, however, get my attention.  The gowns, as reported in This Side of the Mirror, were not your run of the mill frocks.

“Miss Mexico, Rosa Maria Ojeda, had to change her gown to a fruit-and-veg motif because Mexicans were outraged by the bullet belt and images of hanging bodies and firing squads in her skirt’s original design, which referred to the bloody Cristero war, a Roman Catholic rebellion in the 1920s.

Miss Jamaica donned a Bob Marley T-shirt to honour her country’s culture, and Miss Ecuador, Lugina Cabezas, appeared holding a fake, bloodstained banderilla, the barbed rod stuck into bulls’ necks in the ring, outraging animal rights groups.”  Now that’s a real beauty pageant!

While the Miss California Pageant seemed rather tame by comparison, I am intrigued by Carrie Prejean’s story even before the media feeding frenzy that began with the Judgment of Perez (Hilton) and culminated with Donald Trump deciding that she could keep her title as Miss California USA on May 12th.

If athletes get busted for doping, why don’t beauty contestants get busted for breast implants?

Aren’t professional athletes and professional beauty contestants alike in many ways?  Performance is everything and if you win, fame and fortune are yours.  The other side of the shiny coin is that athletes and beauty contestants become a commodity of the team or pageant which essentially owns them. These are all adults and should have lawyers, so I won’t editorialize on that one.  Both professions are the realm of the young. Since knees and shoulders eventually give out, or 30, the magical age of incipient hagdom is crossed, at some point it’s on to becoming a commodity that promotes other commodities like cars, orange juice  and pantyhose or you disappear completely.  Ephemeral youth….

If these professions are alike in many ways, they are also dissimilar.  Professional athletes- usually men- make a lot more money than female athletes and not surprisingly, more than beauty contestants.  And performance on the playing field for athletes is defined in a different way than performance for women on a beauty contestant runway.  Athletes can’t dope.  Athletes do dope, and there is a clandestine market for providing steroids and growth hormones that runs parallel to the squeaky clean image of the “natural” strength and prowess of the athlete.  Perhaps it is simply a matter of athletes not getting caught doping.

Carrie Prejean’s breast implants, on the other hand, were funded by the pageant!
Call me an innocent- but this one got my attention.  Miss Prejean evidently did a great deal of soul searching before opting for a boob job instead of the chicken cutlets and tape.  You heard me right.  “If you have a flat chest, what are you supposed to do?” “You use chicken cutlets.  You use tape.  You use anything to enhance the line.”

Let me say this…1) I will never look at the chicken cutlets in the market in the same way and 2) don’t cook the chicken and don’t use duct tape.  Do not substitute KFC original recipe. All of these will completely screw up the bikini line.

The bottom line for the Miss California USA pageant is that they wanted Miss Prejean to put herself in the “best possible light on a national stage.”  Unlike the utter hypocrisy of the professional athlete world, here is an organization (owned by Donald Trump, who has also owned Miss Universe for a decade) which has made it clear that natural beauty is a bogus concept and has given the green light to plastic surgery, teeth whitening, hair streaking and no doubt the death defying Brazilian bikini wax.  Because that’s what it takes to be beautiful. And to win.

Was Carrie Prejean set up with a hard question?

Puh-leez.  Perez Hilton asked for Miss Prejean’s view on gay marriage.  She said, “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other … same sex marriage or opposite marriage,” then added, “I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman … that’s how I was raised.”

Who out there is dumb enough to believe that if she said she believed that gay marriage should be recognized, her response would not have set off the hard core right, who would boycott the pageant etc. etc.?

There is no such thing as bad publicity.  Carrie Prejean keeps showing up on the blogs, airwaves and in the newspapers.  Even Satan has been brought into the discourse, and that can’t be a bad thing.

Beauty and the Beast

On May 12th, Donald Trump settled the matter.  Carrie Prejean responded to a hard question in the same way as the President of the United States.  In regards to the photographs from prior times, he responded that this is the 21st Century.  Trump seems rather creepy, his age and bad hair and all.  But he owns the pageant.  He probably owns Carrie Prejean.  And if he weren’t so filthy rich, nobody would probably care about his verdict.  But God’s in his heaven and all is right with the world.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar Patty Jones May 14, 2009 at 9:23 pm

Amen sister.

We need to visit, you and I.

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avatar doug porter May 14, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Prejean’s running around claiming that her “freedom of speech” is under attack is just the biggest pile of crap… oh, boo, hoo!

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avatar Frank Gormlie May 15, 2009 at 9:54 am

Funny, funny, and fun reading.

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avatar lane tobias May 15, 2009 at 4:55 pm

is it me, or is all this pointing to a major twist where prejean comes out of the closet on national television as her celebrity status hangs on by a thread?

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avatar mr fresh May 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm

nah, but that skin flick she probably made will eventually come out…

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avatar mr fresh May 16, 2009 at 5:39 pm

this is too good not to share…bill maher on christian breast augmentation… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/16/bill-maher-god-gave-miss_n_204230.html

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avatar Dave Gilbert May 16, 2009 at 7:02 pm

Nice piece Anna!

“incipient hagdom” LOL I could have swore that was a band XD

Me? I’m working on being more tolerant towards intolerance, because we lead by example and are all entitled to our own opinions….

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avatar annagrace May 17, 2009 at 9:32 am

Mr. Fresh- Thanx for the Bill Maher clip! Inspirational! And yet again, let me say that there is no such thing as bad publicity. The Beauty of the Chicken Cutlets is discussed in the New York Times. Read about it here: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/04/the-beauty-of-chicken-cutlets/

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avatar Likewise May 18, 2009 at 10:33 am

The following is a promotional statement concerning the Liberal Pimps’ Free Sackcloth and Ashes Giveaway:

“Christions ain’t got no bizness bein’ hot. I mean, hot gurls plus an endless line o’ johns equals mucho bucks for us Lib Pimps, capiche?

But if you start preachin’ lifelong fidelity to one dude, you puddin’ us on welfare. You want that on your conshance? Shame on youz. God ain’t gonna like that.

Here, hot gurl Miss CA, take this free sackloth and ashes gradis with compliments and grab yuself a piece o’ heaven.

Remember, money is the rood of all evil, and bein’ hot is the root of all money.

Let someone wid (lots of liddle) responsabilities handle it, OK?

God bless ya. No disrespect.”

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avatar mr fresh May 18, 2009 at 10:39 am

huh?

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avatar jon May 18, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Talk about beauty being skin deep….

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avatar Likewise May 20, 2009 at 9:33 am

Well you might say “Huh?”

I mean, like the man Maher says, we Libs are only concerned that Chrishchuns are biblic’ly correct. Especially hot ones. It’s all about rashnal argument.

Yeah, we may mention Miss CA’s body, her skin tone, her hair color, her height, her ear-rings, her mom and pop. We may use language of a nature that is, one might say, derogatory towards the female gender. But it’s all in a good cause: her gettin’ to heaven and her not gettin’ people to associate her hot looks wid da Bible and monogamy like Pavlov’s dogs associated da ringin’ bell wid chow time.

I mean, when have we Libs ever played such dirty underhand tricks?

Good job times are a changin’ under America’s coolest ever president.

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avatar jon May 20, 2009 at 1:18 pm

I read that about 5 times and even tried translating it to English, and I’m still lost. Jus wat da’ funk r yoo tryn’ ta say dere likewizzy?

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avatar annagrace May 20, 2009 at 5:08 pm

You say PRAY-john(so Biblical) , I say Pree-jean ( rhymes with Mr. Green Jeans) and let’s not call the whole thing off…

I could care less if Carrie Prejean had provided a cogent sentence on behalf of those of us who support gay marriage. She would have become the poster child of a completely different group, and anathema to her current supporters. There is no such thing as bad publicity and it begs the question of who has the power–Donald Trump!!!!

That’s not it all.

Seriously. I want to know why Pfizer Pharmaceuticals (or whomever) cannot openly produce the Ultimate Athlete. If we can openly modify, through plastic surgery and other techniques, the looks of a beauty pageant contestant, why can’t we have an open policy of doping? Let the best laboratory win by whipping up concoctions of steroids and growth hormones and pain killers (pain killers are very important) to keep our gladiators alive and winning on the playing fields?

I’m stumped. Explain to me the difference.

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avatar lexae May 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm

…annagrace…next thing you’ll be telling us they’re using rump roasts to fill out that extra juicy back view. High fives with chicken paws, girl…

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