Group Declares War On Spain – Maybe – and Announces SuperPac and Bakesales

by on May 23, 2012 · 4 comments

in American Empire, California, San Diego, Satire

The May Greys were out in full force Tuesday morning as a fledgling new group calling itself “Fight4America” trotted out a media event down at “Tuna Park” in downtown San Diego. With the USS Midway looming in the background, organizers unveiled three 30 second television spots that will air in key markets when and if enough money is raised.

They also promised to spend money on behalf of candidates and lobby for policies that support their mission of turning America’s military into the fine fighting force like it was back in the Spanish American War.

Clearly upset with the Pentagon’s plans to reshape the US military into a Twenty-first Century fighting force, former Republican Rep. Duncan Hunter called for a “new naval armada, one like we had when we invaded Cuba”. Hunter’s speech to the two dozen spectators, four journalists, KUSI-TV crew and three dozen seagulls included a call for a declaration of war on Spain—“Remember the Maine”—and reversal of President Harry Truman’s order desegregating the Armed Forces.

Pressed for specifics on their fund raising strategies, GOP campaign strategist Ed Rollins, whose last known position was running Rep. Michelle Bachman’s campaign, suggested that staging their press event in San Diego was part of a larger strategy, that involved targeting reclusive but wealthy donors known to be preparing for Armageddon in nearby deserts.

“San Diego has a proud history of attracting theses real American patriots, even if the liberal media doesn’t know their names”, said Rollins, who refused to go into more detail, citing National security concerns and a desire to punch Mitt Romney in the mouth.

Defense activist Bymor Gunns promised that the group would start on a national campaign of bake sales, designed to build grassroots support. “We’ve put together this kit that you can get from our website that shows you how to buy day old cookies from bakeries and spruce them up with misted water just like new,” said Gunns.

Asked after the event if he thought there would be Congressional support for an invasion of Spain, Rep. Hunter said, “Did I say Spain? I meant Iran; I’m always getting the two of them confused.”

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar Frank Gormlie May 23, 2012 at 8:31 am

Don’t be fooled, my friends, this is unadulterated satire. Stay thirsty and drink responsibly.

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avatar unWASHEdwalmaRtthONG May 23, 2012 at 9:21 am

Aret there notches on the guns of the Midway representing the number of people killed by that machine?

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avatar Brenda McFarlane May 23, 2012 at 11:08 am

Once I realized that the piece was satirical (around the sentence””targeting reclusive but wealthy donors known to be preparing for Armageddon in nearby deserts”) I felt stupid for actually believing that such a Super Pac called “Fight for America” could exist. No organization’s mission statement could include the sentence: “We believe that long-lasting peace comes through strength and that weakness only serves to tempt those who would harm us and our friends.” Right? Just to make sure, I looked it up and unfortunately only some of Doug’s piece is satire, some is all too real. I found that; 1) There is a real “Fight for America” Super Pac just launched in an event as Doug describes. 2) They have a website. 3) They have made commercials, one depicts us lowering the American flag and hoisting a white flag of surrender (!). 4) the group does want to return to former military spending levels. The group does use manly slogans like “Strong, Able and Ready” presumably to whip up our patriotic spirit. The also say: “President Obama has proposed cutting our defenses even more — to levels lower than before World War II, leaving us weak, vulnerable, even subservient to other nations.” Heavens to Betsy! Not Subservient! So, it’s true, a group of fairly powerful troglodytes have gathered who believe everyone is out to get us, make us their slaves and take over our cave. Just like in the tale of Chicken Little, these bad boys are frightened and are certain the sky is falling. They want us to join them to make the king protect them from the danger. It’s our choice whether we want to be just like Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey and Turkey Lurkey. In the end, Chicken Little’s Super Pac were led right into Foxey Loxey’ den, there to be permanently relieved of their fears.

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avatar David Secor May 23, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I am in the race for the House seat in the New District 50 to finally put an end to the 32-year rule of Hunter1 and his contractor pals. My listed opponent, Hunter2 (R-Pentagon), is just their willing tool. As I take no PAC, corporate or union money and only contributions under $100, I welcome the sudden emergence of Hunter1’s anti-American SuperPAC Fight4Money. Every stack of bribe money that is indirectly and anonymously funneled into the campaign “coffin” of Hunter2 highlights Hunter2’s true constituency – not the people of our district, but Pentagon contractors across the nation, Since 2001 Pentagon parasites have leased office space in DC and the Maryland and Virginia suburbs that is the equivalent of THREE ADDITIONAL PENTAGONS. Like a cancer on America, they need the “endless War” philosophy embraced by the Hunters to stay alive.
As Lewis said, “When fascism comes to America it will come wrapped in the American Flag and carrying a cross.” Watch the Fight4Money 30-second spots and you will see what Lewis was talking about.
Ike not only warned the nation about the Military/Industrial Complex, but specifically said, “Every dollar uselessly spent on military mechanisms decreases our total strength, and therefore our security.” That is why I, and the facts, would argue the Hunters’ SuperPAC Fight4Money is anti-American and its admitted goals a threat to our national security.
As one who served with the 1st Air Cavalry Division (as an enlisted man) in Vietnam in 1968, I take our REAL national security very seriously.
Listen: Our district is nothing but “office space’ for looters. The people (30% in El Cajon live below the poverty line, in Escondido it’s 20%), the businesses and the environment in our district are mere irritants to them.
Hunter2’s Instructions: Stay out of sight and just throw out an anti-abortion bill or two and say something about a border fence and single-issue voters will keep you in your seat. Hunters1&2 and your puppetmasters be advised: You have gone “A Bridge Too Far.” The People are waking up to your deception and fraud. M-O-N-E-Y will not save you. Not this time. We will pull back the curtain on the “Wizard of Alpine.”

Visit DavidSecorforCongress.com, and click on Youtube icon for more on video. Hunters take note and be concerned – “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” – Dr Martin King

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