Internet Dating – the Research Is Over

He’s sitting at the bar, nursing a drink when an attractive lady sits down next to him.
“Do you come here often?” she asks.
“No, this is my first time here.”
“Where have you been?”
“In prison.”
“Why? What did you do?”
“I killed my wife.”
“Oh! That means you’re single?”

After almost two months of on-line dating, my research is over.  Although it was an interesting experience, it bore little, if any fruit, and was an expensive project.  A little background:

I am a widow of almost three years. I am reasonably attractive – for an old broad -; have not yet begun to show that Alzheimer’s runs in my family; like to cook; like to read; like to write. Still physically active – walk my 11 year old Golden Retriever 1-2 miles a day;  like the human touch and miss the hugs and comfort that a man can give me. I am a retired educator – public as well as governmental; have 3 grown daughters and a passel of grandchildren.   With all that in mind, I signed up with 3 “on-line dating services” :  “Senior People Meet”;  “BB People Meet” – Big and Beautiful – and Match.com.  I originally signed up for EHarmony.com, but it was too costly and I did not complete the application.  My profile reads:

“A little about me…
I am an educator; a liberal; like to read; like to cook; have authored 2 cook books; am a staff writer for our local liberal newspaper. A non-smoker with no tolerance for smokers. A social drinker. Have grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Must like dogs – Have a large 11 year old Golden Retriever. Widow of 28 months. Not looking for a replacement – looking for a companion. Have students from foreign countries living with me to study English. Somewhat of a romantic – if the feelings are right.

About the one I’m looking for…
Honest; caring; enjoys humor; no children living at home; No financial worries but not a spendthrift or miser either. Liberal and/or Democrat. Enjoys a nice evening at home as well as going out. I am looking for someone between 60-70.

I’d just like to add…

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for stupid people and their ideas. I am ashamed of those running for President on the Republican ticket and will probably work for Obama’s reelection. Come to think of it – I am ashamed of those people that will vote a Republican ticket. Opinionated – you bet!”

The total of viewers of my profile for all 3 sites was over 150 people.  Of the profiles that I read, I responded to 40 men.  A dismal number responded back – 6 – and 21 men responded to my profile.  I met only one of the men responding, and that was a  failure. (See January 21^st article “From Cougar to Cub to Boy Toy.”)

Of the 21 men that responded to me, almost without exception it sounded like they were writing/reading from the same script. I received such platitudes of “you are so beautiful”; “I’m interested in you”; I’ll tell you more when we meet”; etc.  Many of the men were listed on all of sites. Some used the same profiles while others listed different attributes on each profile. For example, one man listed that he was married, his wife was in a wheelchair, and he wanted a lover. (I reported him to the powers that be, and 3 weeks later I received the same profile from the same site.) On another site he said that he was divorced, and yet on the other site he said he was a widow.  Funny thing was that he used the same picture on all 3 sites!

The cost of joining these sites was not cheap:  Match.com was the most expensive – $71.97 for 3 months; Seniors was $23.90 a month but you had to take a 3 month subscription, and then they had the nerve to charge an extra $3.70 to read any answers that you might have received back. BB charged $18.98, per month,  for the 3 month subscription and also charged to be able to read the responses.

I have now cancelled all of my subscriptions but I learned the hard way that even though I have cancelled, the subscription has no refunds.  I can elect to keep on receiving notifications, or I can elect to not have my profile active anymore and have my name removed from the roster when the subscription expires.  I found that most men in my age category wanted younger women and that was no surprise.  I want a younger man also. But I want a winner; and I found that those responding to me were not in the “winner” category.  I am not adverse to going to bed with a man if the chemistry is right,  but he sure better buy me a better glass of wine than the “house” variety.

If he thinks that he will woo me and get my money – what money? – he better think again. That money is already tied up in a trust account for my children. So I come back to my original quest – where do I meet a man for companionship, romance, and/or conversation. How do I keep my self-respect when attempting to meet someone from the opposite sex?  I’ll be glad to do more research – just give me some suggestions.