Over the past few weeks a seemingly endless parade of dour old pontificating shriveled up white guys have set us straight on contraception, abortion, sex and even the definition of life itself. They have done it at all levels of government, from the pulpits and on the airwaves.
Now that they have fixed the economy, brought back jobs and lowered the deficits, those who have been aptly described as “the best minds of the thirteenth century” can now turn their attention to what they really seem to enjoy—sex talk and lots of it!
Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache…
This contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. Back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.
Yuk. Yuk. Yuk. “Gal” Andrea Mitchell tried to wipe the WTF look off of her face. I’m with Juanita Jean—“Where should men keep their Viagra?”
Update: Friess appeared on the Lawrence O’Donnell show and was asked about this issue. Friess maintains that Santorum is pro-contraception. Actually, Santorum is not. Friess may have a ton of money, but he is clueless.
“Issa” deserves a special place on the Google, like Santorum!
Our very own Congressman Darrell Issa convened a Very Serious, Very Important Hearing: “Lines Crossed: Separation of Church and State. Has the Obama Administration Trampled on Freedom of Religion and Freedom of Conscience?”
No girls allowed to weigh in on this very serious very important discussion that required a penis and that had absolutely nothing, NOTHING, to do with contraception, so help me God. The hearing was clearly about how many angels can dance on a conservative pinhead.
Democratic women boycotted the hearing. Minority House Leader Nancy Pelosi said “Imagine having a panel on women’s health and they don’t have any women on the panel. Duh.” “Duh” indeed, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Blunt force: My uterus appended to your bus
Conservatives were outraged by the president’s full frontal assault on religious freedom and Sen Roy Blunt (R-MO) devised a way to dial the outrage volume all the way up to roar. He crafted an amendment that would permit any employer or insurance plan to exclude any health service, no matter how essential, from coverage if they morally object to it. This not so subtle whack at “Obamacare” exists as an amendment on the Transportation Bill. Seriously.
The issue of not only contraception, but health care coverage in general, is now inextricably entwined with mass transit and “Drill, Baby, Drill!”
When will every sperm be sacred?
A “personhood amendment” recently passed in the Oklahoma senate. The obvious intent is to ban abortion, despite the fact Roe v Wade is still the law of the land. But because the language defines a fertilized egg as a human life there are other broader, intended consequences. Making most forms of birth control illegal is one of those consequences. A similar amendment failed in Mississippi this past summer. Citizens there were able to figure out that eggs are not people.
If you think that a personhood amendment won’t fly in godless, liberal, socialist California, think again.
State sponsored rape
A bill has passed the Virginia senate that would require a woman to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before receiving an abortion. As an unnamed lawmaker told a fellow Virginia delegate, a woman already consented to being “vaginally penetrated when they got pregnant.” Thank you gentlemen for such strict adherence to your small government principles.
This isn’t the end of the sex orgy, which had willing participants on the Democrat side too. But here’s the thing—98% of American women will use contraception at some point in their life. Men clearly support the use of contraception too. One in three women have had an abortion.
This is a ginned up breathtakingly anti-woman culture war that cannot mask the impotence of our elected representatives, who would like us to believe their mission is to create jobs, jobs, jobs.
Perhaps this will turn out to be the Year of the Women. And yes, we vote.