The Widder Curry’s Projections for 2012

by on December 28, 2011 · 1 comment

in Culture, Economy, Education, The Widder Curry

JANUARY: The repair work on Sunset Cliffs will finally be finished. The only problem was that during the installation  of the new pipes, the cliffs eroded so much that there  can no longer be any auto or pedestrian traffic on the  street.

FEBRUARY: The post office, in their infinite wisdom has  closed the processing center on Midway drive, thus  opening the way for Lindbergh Field to take it over  for the new runway.

MARCH: The pharmaceutical companies have decided they  have gouged Americans to the point where they will  release the cancer saving drugs that they have had on  their shelves for years for a $5.00 co-pay.

APRIL: The IRS will accept no taxes from anyone making  less than $15000 a year. If necessary, they will only  tax the top 1% of American’s to cover the deficit brought  on by the Congress that refused to compromise.

MAY: The tobacco farmers have agreed to tell the public  just how dangerous smoking can be, and will pay for all  treatments necessary to cure lung cancer.

JUNE: With graduation looming, and students not passing the exit tests, the school districts will finally agree that homework is only busy work and little  learning takes place when students do work at home with  help from their parents. No homework for the following  school year.

JULY: With fireworks banned, the Fourth of July will be a colossal failure, albeit a sober one. No drinking anywhere, not even in your own backyard. What are we celebrating?

AUGUST: Since there are no more fire rings on the San Diego  beaches, and no more drinking there either, the tourists  have decided to spend their summers in more liberal  cities, thus throwing the end of the fiscal year into more  turmoil.

SEPTEMBER: Traditionally the start of school. Will there be school? Who will teach it? What subjects will be taught?  Will the neighborhood schools be in existence? Will there still be “magnet” schools? Will there still be “charter” schools. Will there be music and art taught any more? Who will the teachers be: Old tenured people  or new teachers with exciting ideas? Strange, isn’t it,  that the one “product” we cannot recall because of a  missing part is the student and they are the ones getting  shafted?

OCTOBER: It used to be that excitement began brewing with the  advent of Halloween, election day, and holiday season.  2012 will not have excitement for the elections; rather the  electorate will be angry at the shenanigan’s of those  running for office. The entire country will think that this  election is a cruel Halloween joke.

NOVEMBER: Finally, after months and months of political  rhetoric, the election that no one has any interest in is  here. It will either be the largest turnout the US has ever known, or it will be the lowest turnout due to lack of interest and disgust. I hoped that when the tea was thrown into  Boston harbor so many years ago that it sunk to the  bottom, never to surface again. At least not in 2012.

DECEMBER: We have come full circle with 2013 looming in  our sights. What changes have we seen that are positive?  Has the economy improved? Has new housing picked up?   Has the employment market dropped to under 5%? Or…  as this “widder” sees it – we are in the same rut as we were at the beginning of 2012. Maybe 2013…….will be a better year.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

avatar Zach on the side December 29, 2011 at 1:34 am

And I was hoping ETs would make an appearance and tell us what real civilizations actually look like! About as likely as these predictions!

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