To all you well wishers out there, know that I love each one of you dearly and deeply appreciate your prayers and your soothing words and your hugs and two kisses. Oh, you ease so much of the pain that our family is going through hoping that our Debbie will pull through.
Okay, so I know you’re thinking “Yeah, we cool, but how are YOU doing?” Well, you mean, other than not knowing whether I’m coming or going?
Actually, I’m okay, under the circumstances, one might say, but in all this I find myself wondering “Am I crazy?” Then I think I must be because I can’t rid myself of a most compelling urge to just let loose like Daffy Duck, casting my sanity to the four winds, the pain is so stunning.
This is about the most mindblowing experience I’ve ever had and believe me I’ve had my fair share of “Far out!” moments. But this is a high that has me talking in tongues, of a sort, like the other day I was about to enter Grant’s Deli around the corner from me and this little girl, at the entry way, did a snazzy somersaulty flippy move of some kind and the only words in my mind that I could find to express my admiration for the trick was: “Holy Moly!” That’s right, “Holy Moly!” I mean Holy Moly, I had never thought or said Holy Moly in my life. I had to ask myself: “Was that me?” Am I developing a cartoon complex? First Daffy Duck and now I’m a character in a Captain Marvel comic book?
I guess next it will be “Ah caramba!” or “Jumping Jehosophat!” “Golly Gee willikers?”
Hey, not to worry, I’m going to be okay but this thing has me in a daze. I mean talking about zoning out. Whew! The other night I was sitting mostly undressed (not meant to titillate), supposedly getting ready for bed, and thoughts of my daughter zipped back and forth and up and down and all around and through my head and a strange feeling came over me. I couldn’t figure out what it was. Where had I felt like that before? Then I remembered attending an NFL playoff game in 1974 in Minneapolis, in December, between the Vikings and the Cardinals and then it dawned on me what was happening: I was freezing! I had to laugh as I pajamaed myself with my teeth sounding like an instrument in Xavier Cugat’s band.
Hey, it’s painful and there’s no escaping it but I feel the love of the universe through the sweet power of the good wishes that you all have sent my family’s way. This will buoy me, carry me, keep me on my feet.
I just need you to keep the love coming and to watch out for me when you see me on the streets. You never know when I might need you to yell: “Hey, Ernie, watch out! You’re about to walk into that wall!” Or “Dude, didn’t you see that black cat cross your path? That’s bad luck!” And be ready for a reply like “What do you expect, I’m Daffy Duck!” (smile)
Let me leave you with these words from “The Gift” (from poems by Hafiz) that was given to me by a dear friend. I read it to Debbie the other day (December 6) and I saw her face relax, her eyes quiver, a mite. Mean anything? It did to me. Later she opened her eyes wide and moved her head from side to side, and lifted her arms and legs a bit. Two days before she felt pain. She’s still in the game. The Poem:
IT FELT LOVE
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
It felt the encouragement of light
We all remain