REMEMBERING BOB
You passed away two years ago today,
And it has been very hard.
I wish you would get your ass back here
And take care of your frigging yard.
You didn’t tell me what to do,
Now all your trees are covered in white-fly goo.
It’s not just the yard that needs your care,
Remember the chores that we always would share?
What do I do when the garage door won’t open?
How about when the bathroom pipe got broken?
Who takes the trash out when it’s too heavy for me?
That was always your job, you see.
A simple task I can no longer do,
My shoulders are torn from lifting you.
Buddy still mourns at his great loss,
He refuses to believe that I am the boss.
He sits in the pool for hours on end,
I wonder if his heart will ever mend.
A problem has developed with your old dog,
It seems like his training is becoming unraveled.
The only reason that I can see,
Is that I don’t walk down the road you traveled.
I take our students on your tours of the city,
It’s not the same; it isn’t as witty.
I try to take them where you used to go,
But the places I go are not nearly as pretty.
I haven’t had fresh fish since you’ve been gone,
No one I know brings it home
The catching, cleaning and smoking the fish
I can no longer do alone.
The Charger games go unwatched,
It’s no fun without you here.
Oh My Bobby, how exciting it was
To listen to your rousing cheer!
The Del Mar season has gone and passed,
I’ve looked all over for your stash,
I have not yet found it, your stash of cash,
I hope you didn’t put it in the trash!
The political season is heating up,
I’m afraid that Obama may not win,
WE all need you here to work on his campaign
With you on his side, it’s a sure thing.
The “tea party” is new since you’ve been gone,
They are a far-right religious sect,
Remember Sara Palin, the broad with the “wink?”
Now we have Michelle Bachman,
Who doesn’t know how to think.
I’ve contacted Medium’s to be in touch,
I’m not really expecting much,
But others around me have heard the word,
It makes no difference if it sounds absurd.
You once promised me that I could go first,
You knew I could not be alone,
I wish I could hold you to your promise,
At least I wish we could be in touch by phone.
The wound isn’t healing as fast as I wish,
The scab keeps coming off with a swish,
I miss you more than words can say,
What I wouldn’t give for one more day.
I look around me and see your face,
In every single “effing” place.
But what is missing is your smile and voice,
Oh Lord, I wish I had a choice.
For I’d give up almost everything to have you back,
For one more night in the sack.
A chance to say “I love you so”
Ah, My Bobby, please don’t go.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
You and Bob have been in my thoughts and heart all day.
Thanks, Mona. It has been a difficult day, but my support group was with me most of the afternoon and it truly helped. Wish you were here, too. Love you.
I absolutely love the irreverent humor you put into Remembering Bob. It’s sad and funny all at the same time. I’m sending you hugs today. I’m glad your support group was there for you. Mine helped me a lot when my parents died.
As for the Mediums, I would want to do that too. Where is John Edward when you need him? Look for hummingbirds and Bob’s favorite flowers – those will be his messengers that tell you his spirit is still connected to you.
on ward and upward Judi. He did love his ocean fishing and the ocean in general. He bought me my first deep sea pole when I moved back to CA. The first deep sea excursion a guy fell over the pole and broke it…..he was a little excited! (Bob) It was a bit rough, kinda like today!
Hi Sandi. Thanks for your comments re: my remembrance to Bob. He had a wonderful sense of humor, and that humor is what allowed us to get along so well. (Of course, being Irish helped!)
The hummers are all over the place. In fact, when I had his services here two hummers sat on the lemon tree the ENTIRE time and two butterflies stayed in the area also. Bob’s apple tree that he planted one year before he passed on is blooming all year – just made 39 jars of apple butter and it still has apples on it; the Sterling Silver Rose that he planted for me is so fragrant I don’t even pick them and bring them in the house because I can smell them from outsides. Now…if I only knew what the hummers were saying!
Judi that was beautiful! It made me laugh and cry! I do miss him! U guys always made me smile!
Judi your courage to carry on is admirable. I know it is a struggle; I struggle too. Just please know that your friends love you and together we will move on ….God I hope so anyway. Your poem is great. I’ll bet Bob would be chuckling and tearing up at the same time. Love you.
Thanks, Ro. Couldn’t carry on if it weren’t for people like you in my support group! I urge all people that are in a “grief” situation to join support groups.
Been thinking about you and Bob all day. Damon said to send his love. I had to stop reading the poem to D cause he started to cry. I loved it and thought it put everything perspective. We love you and miss you. Kisses and hugs
Judi, I don’t know you, nor did I know Bob. But wow, you were SO lucky to have him for as long as you did!
Thank you. He was a wonderful person – most of the time!
What a wonderful poem ! Thank you Judy ! Having had the good fortune of staying with you and Bob as a language student for a few months all these years ago, I can only agree with you that he was a very special person. I don’t think I have met anyone like him since.
He will remain in my heart and mind forever.
Ahhh, you expressed your feelings so well in this writing; I can tell you had a life with Bob that was interesting and shared and exciting. I know that feeling of wishing they could come back, if but for a minute; the very thought is so inviting. What you’re doing is so beneficial to your well being so keep on writing. I can feel my Nancy so much in this moment and I like the feeling although my eyes are moistening. God, I miss that woman and right now I’ll just take my thoughts of her to bed.
Dear Ernie, you speak so eloquently. Reading your response to me brought fresh tears. Not many understand the feelings of grief; I know that you do, and your words bring me comfort. Thank you for being there for me.
With your wonderful poem, I remember vividly than ever Bob’s welcome San Diego tour, my first boat fishing with him, and his big smile always next to you. So I wanna thank you for sharing your feeling.
I can imagine that Bob is giggling with his gentle eyes watching your witty article!
Dear Peter and Teruyo. Bob counted both of you as “his children.” Peter, you were our very first student – and we have now had 361 students. How you set the stage for all the others. Remember you’re 21st birthday jaunt? Love to both of you.
Lovely poem! It never gets “better” but you get used to it. (After many years.)
How many, Barbara? I keep waiting…and waiting…and waiting.
Hi Judi,
All of the previous comments are so articulate, and I find my self increasingly mute in the face of grief. All I can say is that Bob was one of the coolest people I ever met. I hope that he and Bryan are helping God reorganize heaven–rollicking activists throughout eternity.
Blessings to you!
I think we may be in for some rumbling very shortly Judy. Their laughter at the antics of the politicians today must be the cause of all the thunder storms overhead.
Dear Judi,
The poem is great- funny and sad at the same time. I have such wonderful memories of my time with you and Bob..memories that will stay with me forever. Thinking about you & Bob..
love, Martin, Michelle & Marcus xxx
Thanks, Martin. It has been almost 20 years(!) since you lived with us. I frequently tell my current students about you. Glad all is well. BTW – Kyla and her husband – and two kids – have moved back to Australia. Love to Michelle and Marcus.
Hi Judi. Thanks for the wonderful poem. Y’know, Bob just keeps coming up for us at Veterans For Peace…where he was full on a major contributor. The legend lives on.
Jim
Thanks, Jim. One of the best things that happened for him was when he joined the Veterans for Peace. I am still finding “plans” that he wrote for meeting with different groups, politicians, and interested party.