Editor: CityBeat’s Ed Decker – who writes poetry for the OB Rag and has promised us a column – is organizing “Armies of the War on Christmas mount a comeback”.
By Edwin Decker / San Diego CityBeat
Thanks to a spate of failed ACLU lawsuits, Bill O’Reilly and his ilk are claiming they have “won the war on Christmas.” However, what O’Reilly and friends don’t know is that a military alliance of atheists, agnostics and cynics—known as the Axis of Unbelievers (AU)—is about to launch a full-scale invasion on the Christmas command center located atop Yuletide Hill.
I know this because, at this very moment, the AU troops are positioned at the bottom of the hill and await my instruction—for I am the ranking Agnostic in charge. I check my weapon, take a deep breath and give the “Go” command. It is the Battle of Yuletide Hill, a day that will live in infamy.
Their fortress looms above us. Beside it stands a 100-foot Christmas tree, from which dangle ornaments made from the skulls of unbelievers and garland made from their entrails. Heavy-caliber machine-gunners are positioned at the base of the tree, and elfmanned mortar cannons are cleverly camouflaged amid the straw and statues of a nativity scene.
For the remainder of this battle plan, go to San Diego CityBeat here.