The battle of Yuletide Hill

by on December 23, 2010 · 4 comments

in Culture

Editor: CityBeat’s Ed Decker – who writes poetry for the OB Rag and has promised us a column – is organizing “Armies of the War on Christmas mount a comeback”.

By Edwin Decker / San Diego CityBeat

Thanks to a spate of failed ACLU lawsuits, Bill O’Reilly and his ilk are claiming they have “won the war on Christmas.” However, what O’Reilly and friends don’t know is that a military alliance of atheists, agnostics and cynics—known as the Axis of Unbelievers (AU)—is about to launch a full-scale invasion on the Christmas command center located atop Yuletide Hill.

I know this because, at this very moment, the AU troops are positioned at the bottom of the hill and await my instruction—for I am the ranking Agnostic in charge. I check my weapon, take a deep breath and give the “Go” command. It is the Battle of Yuletide Hill, a day that will live in infamy.

Their fortress looms above us. Beside it stands a 100-foot Christmas tree, from which dangle ornaments made from the skulls of unbelievers and garland made from their entrails. Heavy-caliber machine-gunners are positioned at the base of the tree, and elfmanned mortar cannons are cleverly camouflaged amid the straw and statues of a nativity scene.

For the remainder of this battle plan, go to San Diego CityBeat here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar annagrace December 23, 2010 at 11:36 am

AU- Axis of Unbelievers…. Love it. Do you ever think we’ll see a president who is the big A (no, I don’t mean Anglican) ????

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avatar Patty Jones December 23, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Probably about the time hell freezes over. ;)

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avatar Diane5150 December 24, 2010 at 5:40 am

I personally belong to the Church of Doom. We would be willing to form an alliance with the AU, to the benefit of all.

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avatar Old Hermit Dave December 24, 2010 at 11:42 am

The science mind invents something to move the BIG STONE, the religious mind prays over it and asks God to move it, the politician mind hires a multi- national corporation to move it and gets a kick back.

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