Ocean Beach purists up in arms over new McDonald’s
In a surprise move that flies in the face of every thing the small oceanfront community has been about, Ocean Beach officials announced Thursday that fast-food burger giant McDonald’s will open up a location along Newport Avenue.
“It’s a departure from the norm, but we are really excited to see the kind of economic opportunities that having a brand like McDonald’s will do for OB,” said city council representative Thyme Curtis. “Sometimes, in order to make an omelet, you have to break some eggs. In this case, those eggs will be poached and put on an English muffin with cheese and Canadian bacon.”
Many members of the Ocean Beach community were opposed to the kind of corporate expansion that saw Seattle-based coffee franchise Starbucks open its doors in OB a few years ago. There was much controversy that the corporation’s presence was a sign of homogenization of the town’s longtime anti-corporate values.
Still, there are some who welcome the McDonald’s opening as evidence that the move is actually authentically OB.
“For years, and I mean years man, the hamburger industry in OB has been monopolized by Hodad’s,” said Joe Jackson, a local surfer. “But if you ask me, a monopoly is a boring ass board game, nothing more. Why should Hodad’s get all of the burger love in Ocean Beach? You’ve tasted McDonald’s, right? Epic.”
The owners of Hodad’s could not be reached for comment.
The ever-growing homeless population in Ocean Beach is also in favor of the move. It makes sense too, as more restaurants equals more people, more people equals more loose change, and more loose change equals more chances to buy McNuggets.
“It’s the natural cycle of life,” said one homeless man who asked not to be identified.
There will undoubtedly be opposition to the move as well. Town Council officials said they expect that residents will more than likely complain about a lack of parking along Newport Avenue, especially on Filet-O-Fish Fridays.
Members of the Ocean Beach Main Street Association were originally displeased with the move, but see that it has benefits.
“Having a brand as viable and visible as McDonald’s really means that Ocean Beach is on the map,” said one member. “And if we can get Grimmace and the Hamburgler to show up at the OB Holiday parade, I might call corporate headquarters and demand another franchise on Voltaire [Street] or Sunset Cliffs [Boulevard].”
Oh… and by the way. April fool’s.