Gifts for The Not-So Socially Conscious In Your Family – Holiday Shopping Made Easy

by on December 4, 2009 · 5 comments

in Ocean Beach

santa_smokes

We here at the OB Rag know that the right thing to do is to spend your Christmas gift dollars right here in Ocean Beach.

But everybody has a few family members or Facebook friends that are really tough to shop for. You know, like your third cousin twice removed who insists on forwarding emails about the latest Glen Beck/Rush Limbaugh inspired conspiracy to take away your guns and drag your grandparents up before Death Panels who will take way their social security benefits because they’ve read Sarah Palin’s new book.

They probably didn’t appreciate the Barack Obama dinner plates that you bought them last year.

So, this year, thanks to the wondrous world of the internets, we’ve come up a few perfect gift suggestions for the cranky curmudgeons in your life.

freedom-tray

First let us introduce the all-new, as seen on TV, Freedom Tray. This is the perfect gift for those folks that have a hard time balancing a lap full of Carl, Jr’s half pound Philly Cheese Steak Burgers—that’s eight ounces of Angus beef, topped with shaved steak, cheese whiz, onions & peppers—a couple of orders of Freedom Fries and a 164 ounce Mountain Dew. It’s only $19.95 (plus S&H), and if you mention the OBRag when ordering, they give you a second one ABSOLUTELY FREE!

The Freedom Tray website FAQ gives you all the important details you need about this wonderful product:

Is this a patriotic tray?

The Freedom Tray is a tribute to the world class manufacturing and dedication of the hard working people of this country. We are proud that the Freedom Tray is completely made and manufactured in the USA with US-made materials. Also, as the name implies, the tray provides you the freedom to live an organized, spill-free and uncluttered life without changing your day-to-day routine.

How much weight can the Freedom Tray hold?

Be assured that the Freedom Tray is designed to hold all you can load in it. The Freedom Tray can hold up to 75 lbs. of weight in the center of the tray, with the legs deployed. This is one tough tray!

Seventy Five Pounds, baby! If that wasn’t enough to convince you, consider these rave reviews from the Freedom Tray Facebook Page:

I sure hope those future accessories will allow me to carry my autographed copy of Going Rouge without spilling 72oz. of coke on it.—Miranda SunEagle

If you don’t order today, the terrorists win. –Jen Poiry

Can I get this on QVC? I’m afraid to leave my house these days with all those terrorists causing stampedes in Walmart.—Ra Sen

lap top steeringwheel

Next, we have the absolute best gift for those of in the hunt for the SUV driving & digitally connected set: The Laptop Steering Wheel Desk, available from Amazon.com for a mere $24.95. It really is a computer desk that hooks up to the steering wheel of your vehicle so you can update your Facebook status and read the latest comments on Sign on San Diego as you hurtle down the interstate at eighty miles per hour.

Not convinced? Read these excellent customer reviews (really!) posted on Amazon:

Wow is this thing great! I use it as a “mini-bar” when the friends and I go out to the bars. I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila for myself and the friends as we drive from one bar to the next. We also discovered that if you place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate. If you swerve to the left or right the rumble strips on the road wake you up in plenty of time before you get into trouble. I can now take longer trips without being tired! –T. Meadows, West Virginia

My copilot and I both used these during our “daily grind” transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn’t realize the planes we fly don’t have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about “FAA and F16 fighters.” –Linky’s Dad, Kentucky

I love this product, but not for it’s laptop capacity. I’m a busy working professional, which makes home-cooked meals a challenge. So I get a jump on dinner by bringing a butcher knife and fresh vegetables in a ziplock to work, then chopping them while I drive home! And just to make sure I don’t contaminate the food, I bring a separate laptop steering wheel desk on which to cut chicken. –Sean Abley, Los Angeles

So there you have it. We do the shopping work so you don’t have to! Happy Holidays!


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar lane tobias December 4, 2009 at 9:06 am

Hilarious. But scary. Because people probably are looking for ways to balance their fast food meals while driving, or take a quick nap while driving…..or take a few shots. Anyone ever heard of a flask?

Reply

avatar annagrace December 4, 2009 at 10:02 am

Truth is strange… I’m going to buy one of those swell trays, hold it over my head and see if it can deflect the 75 pound chunks falling all around.

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avatar mr fresh December 4, 2009 at 10:27 am

maybe we can hang some of these trays from the OB Christmas tree????

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avatar doug porter December 4, 2009 at 12:47 pm

now you can see the Freedom Tray in action. check out this lovely photo published in some North Carolina newspaper:

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avatar Sunshine December 5, 2009 at 3:28 am

mmmmmmm,,,,,popcorn.

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