“A New Wrinkle in the Face of Things” – A New Years Resolution

by on December 27, 2016 · 22 comments

in Culture, Health, History, Life Events, Ocean Beach, The Widder Curry

Before or after.

Lets “face” it. My husband has been gone over seven years and for the past 6 of those years I have tried to find a new companion.

I lost 100 pounds; I grew my hair long – I’ve since cut it -; dyed my silver-gray hair brown – I’ve since gone back to being a blond; and put back some of  the poundage I lost. And although I have met several men, none of them were “Mr. Right” – and many of them have been “Mr. Wrong”, as evidenced by the book I am writing entitled, “Liar, Liar.”

So I have tried everything that I know what to do to attract a man with no success. I even have been in a passive relationship, where I have pretended to know nothing so that HE could be the dominant one. That didn’t work either.

What must be the problem? I asked myself. And lo and behold, one day when I was looking in the mirror and saw my mother looking back at me, I had the answer. I was looking OLD! Where did all those wrinkles and lines come from? They weren’t there the last time I looked in the mirror – or were they? My goodness. You could draw a map on my face by following the lines. Help! What could I do about that?

After or before.

Just about that time I heard a commercial touting a cosmetic that would rid me of those aging wrinkles – and, guess what? It was free. All I had to do was pay the shipping cost of $4.95! I hounded the mailbox everyday until it arrived. And I began using it – daily – for 30 days. And when I looked in the mirror, I was astounded to see – my mother still looking back at me.

Well, I said to myself, maybe it was just that product that didn’t work, so I tried another, and another, and another, and my mother is still in my bathroom mirror. I have spent a fortune on trying to rid myself of my wrinkles and my mother! Some people said it “adds character.” I’m enough of a character that I do not need more characterization. Others have said that I have a beautiful complexion even with the lines. I don’t care about my complexion if I look 100 years old! My mother had plastic surgery so many times that I lost count. But I am a coward when it comes to pain and really not vain enough to go through surgery anyway. I am going to post a “before” and “after” picture. See if you can tell which is which after trying 6 different formula’s.

Some of the products used.

I even tried something that I know my physician would frown upon. I thought that losing all that weight might have been the reason for the lines and wrinkles. So I purposely put on 10 pounds to see if the lines would disappear. They didn’t. Now I have to worry about losing the extra weight and I still have the wrinkles. And now I will probably have more when I lose the extra weight.

So for my New Year’s resolution I am going to try and find a cartographer that will find my lines beautiful and challenging. I am hoping that he is between the ages of 65-76; handsome; honest; single; straight; willing to compromise when needed; likes to eat in as well as out; a good handyman; likes to garden, and is financially solvent. And, if I am lucky, have poor eyesight. Any help from you would be greatly appreciated.

Ah well, let’s FACE it, people. It ain’t gonna happen.

Happy New Year – and may all your resolutions come true.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

avatar South OB Girl December 27, 2016 at 10:47 am

Oh Judi — a way with words!! Please no plastic surgery!! You are lovely. No need to fret. Dating is tough out there for people of all ages.

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avatar Judi December 27, 2016 at 10:58 am

Thank you! Now…if only you were a cartographer; male, and far-sighted I’d do ok! Happy New Year to you!

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avatar Geralyn December 27, 2016 at 12:33 pm

Judy, remember me? I would be happy to share a sample of my scientifically proven, patented formula night cream!

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avatar judi December 28, 2016 at 1:00 pm

Hi Geralyn, of course I remember you. I also remember your wonderful offer, but it seems to me that the product really burned, so I decided not to continue with it. Thank you again. Happy New Year.

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avatar Candy December 27, 2016 at 1:52 pm

Judi, You look beautiful. As always, thanks for your interesting & well-written article. I wondered if those face creams worked for wrinkles. I believe you will meet a wonderful man. I think your friends should introduce you to any nice men they know that meet your criteria. May you have a happy, healthy, & blessed New Year.

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avatar judi December 27, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Thank you so much, Candy. Irene and I are going to try one more product this week, but so far the only difference I see is when I am a dark room with no lights on.

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avatar judi December 27, 2016 at 4:00 pm

I found that out, Berthe! Happy New Year.

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avatar Berthe December 27, 2016 at 3:03 pm

Have heart, Judi. There are nice men out there, even in the “elder” age bracket (60 plus?) As for the pretending -you-know-nothing so that a not-too-bright man will be flattered, believe me, it’s not worth it!

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avatar Geralyn December 28, 2016 at 7:27 pm

Happy new year Judy and all. I recall our amazing eye serum may have been too strong for you and that made me sad. So many have had fabulous results with the eye….however, I don’t recall you trying the night treatment. I’d be thrilled if you were open to trying it for 5 days.. we sold over 100 million in our first year, one product, one country….the only other companies that have ever done that is price line and Groupon. They had a few more perishable and open in more countries. Thanks for your response.

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avatar judi December 28, 2016 at 7:55 pm

Wow! I’d love to try it for 5 days. Shall we wait until after the 1st?

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avatar kip of voltaire colleen dietzel December 28, 2016 at 8:34 pm

is this what a [ progessive] NEWSLETTER hasturned into??? a forlorn colmnen for old people??? c’mon now frank….. maybe the widow cuury is your greatest benefactor, but still, c’mon now, there’S got to be some more imortant stuff going on in the world than poor judi curry’s wrinkles. we are all getting old, by the day, & it’s time for the younger generation to take the bull by the horns and help to save the Earth.

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avatar Frank Gormlie December 28, 2016 at 9:25 pm

Kip, there’s an old radical saying: “If you don’t like the news, go make your own.” Oh, and I haven’t noticed any of your contributions coming in of late. … Judi is our “greatest benefactor” ? I don’t even know what that means. So, c’mon, Kip, it’s the end of the year and there ain’t much going on, so give us some freakin’ slack, bro.

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avatar ob joe December 28, 2016 at 9:51 pm

Hey Kip – aren’t you the local artist who paints cute signs in front of the Green Store … all day and all night. You used to be active – aren’t you still?

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avatar Molly December 28, 2016 at 9:49 pm

LOL pretty funny – thanks kip of voltaire for the laugh.

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avatar Gerald Sweeney December 30, 2016 at 10:01 am

Hey Kip here is some news…
Try a new year resolution to be less hurtful for the rest of your life.

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avatar editordude December 28, 2016 at 9:53 pm

Yeah, ha ha, it was a slow news day. And Judi, Kip, god bless her soul, comes through with her articles and bro, I have to tell you – Judi has a following.

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avatar catsmom December 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm

I love all of Judi’s articles! The best thing going for this newsletter.

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avatar Judi December 29, 2016 at 3:28 pm

Thank you! My love for cats just got stronger! Happy New Year.

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avatar Colleen Dietzel January 4, 2017 at 3:05 pm

Hi Judi, I think you are great just the way you are. And you write great articles too. I don’t know how my name got on that post except Kip uses The Green Store computer We need some light hearted humor these days to survive the coming stuggles we will be facing. Colleen

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avatar judi January 4, 2017 at 4:36 pm

Thanks, Colleen. I was taken aback by the attack by Kip, but figured that he must not have any wrinkles to bother with. Thanks for setting the record straight! Happy New Year! Judi

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avatar imelda March 4, 2017 at 8:12 am

its a woman nature, always want to look pretty, right ? we can have it as with the beautiness of our heart

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avatar ladabra April 16, 2017 at 11:17 pm

Natural woman’s beauty comes from the inside, no doubt

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